Local Woman Removes Carpet, Reveals Secret Entrance to Tomb

“Square footage is square footage! In this market, I’ll take it any way I can get it.”

While renovating a midcentury modern she planned to flip for a profit, local woman Irene Greebriar discovered a secret entrance to a haunted tomb while pulling up carpet in the dining room. “I found it completely by accident. I wasn’t even going to remove the carpet at first,” says Greebriar. “Originally we were just going to open up some of the spaces, add some more natural lighting, and update the kitchen. But I had a feeling there was something under the carpet. I thought it would be hardwood floors, but it turns out to be the entrance to the crypt of an ancient king who isn’t resting peacefully.”

While some remodelers’ spirits would be dampened by such a discovery, Greebriar’s business partner, Jess Armon-Heeth, is optimistic. “Square footage is square footage! In this market, I’ll take it any way I can get it” says Armon-Heeth. “We pay some poor adventurers to vanquish the spirit and just like that we have a rental space for passive income. We’d do it ourselves, but we have so much going on with the bathrooms. A project like this requires delegation.”

Real-estate expert Kris Toggleworth tells The Dungeon Tribune that they are interested in how this discovery will actually affect the value of the house. “On the one hand, the tomb does add a panic room of sorts to the house,” says Toggleworth. “But I think buyers may be turned off at the spiked pit trap. Traditionally, modern homeowners don’t want something like that on the path from a bedroom to a bath. It’s outdated, may as well be shag carpet.” The wildcard, of course, is the mysterious portal of swirling purple mists. “Who’s going to find out where that leads?”

The few potential buyers that have seen the property have had mixed reactions to the news. “I like it, it adds some personality to the property,” says professional landlord Geoff Krinkle. “You get some insurance, put in some giant rat traps, and it’s good to go. Plus, if anyone finds any elven treasure, it’s yours.”

Local family man Steven Dinstorn isn’t as excited by the potential. “As a buyer, I’m worried that if the tomb goes too deep it may put us in a different school district.”

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