The Mysterious Case of the Misunderstood Millennials
Is Simon Sinek onto something huge, or is he full of shit?
Your MC this evening is Ray Sylvester
In a March 2016 essay in Fortune magazine, Dan Lyons writes about his travails as a mid-lifer treading water in a sea of doe-eyed 20-somethings at the cult-like headquarters of marketing company Hubspot.
In his essay (distilled from the book Disrupted: My Misadventure in the Start-Up Bubble), Lyons recounts his short-lived stint at the company and draws a connection between Hubspot’s reality-bending corporate culture and the needs and desires of that most maligned and mysterious of demographics. Those mercurial youths we’re drawn to classify as…
“Supposedly,” says Lyons,
…millennials don’t care so much about money, but they’re very motivated by a sense of mission. So, you give them a mission. You tell your employees how special they are and how lucky they are to be here. You tell them that it’s harder to get a job here than to get into Harvard and that because of their superpowers they have been selected to work on a very important mission to change the world. You make a team logo. You give everyone a hat and a T-shirt. You make up a culture code and talk about creating a company that everyone can love. You dangle the prospect that some might get rich.
Just give the lemmings some bean bags and a manifesto and they’ll bend over backward for you!
Which brings us to the point of our article.
The environment Lyons describes sounds like ground zero for the kind of massive dilemma Simon Sinek warns about in his much-viewed talk on the show Inside Quest.
If you haven’t seen the talk and don’t want to spare the 15 minutes, here’s the tl;dr: Millennials have, on the whole, been dealt a bad hand by their parents, raised to believe they’re special flowers whose oyster is the world.
It’s an argument you’ve heard before—but Sinek takes it to another level.
Where Dan Lyons hedges on his characterization of an entire age group (“Supposedly, millennials don’t care…”), Sinek is willing to hang his hat — hell, his whole damn wardrobe — on the idea that our most youthful generation is woefully self-obsessed and unprepared for the rigors of life and the working world.
Millennials are in fact so screwed, he argues, that employers need to shoulder the burden of training these poor fools how to behave and communicate and not drown in a puddle of incompetence. It’s time for a good old fashioned intervention, and corporations are on the hook.
Getting to the bottom of it
So… is Sinek right? Is an entire generation fumbling their way through life and work, woefully wedded to their gadgets and waiting for unearned rewards to land in their lap?
Or is his tirade just some unsubstantiated pop “wisdom” cleverly engineered to build his brand and sell a product aimed at a problem that doesn’t exist?
To answer that question, we turned to seven of Rocket Code’s best and brightest.
First, we had each team member answer a survey about Sinek’s “millennials are in trouble” theory. Then, each team member’s answers were graded on a proprietary scale that represents how closely they agreed with Sinek’s hypothesis about millennials. We present to you:
The Sinek Bullshit-o-Meter (SBOM) Scale
The SBOM goes from 1 to 10, as follows:
1: I totally agree with Simon Sinek. Millennials are screwed, and they need help.
2: I almost entirely agree with Simon Sinek.
3: I mostly agree with Simon Sinek.
4: I somewhat agree with Simon Sinek.
5: Sinek’s argument has some merits and some flaws. It’s a mixed bag.
6: Simon Sinek is more wrong than right.
7: Simon Sinek is kind of full of shit.
8: Simon Sinek is mostly full of shit
9: Simon Sinek is almost entirely full of shit.
10: Simon Sinek is totally full of shit.
Finally, we grouped each team member and their answers into one of three convenient categories according to their SBOM score:
Group A: Millennials, Amirite? SMDH
So Sinek doesn’t exactly present any hard evidence for his claims? No matter, because he’s right—and these folks have seen it with their own two eyes.
Group B: The Middle-Grounders
These people all took some sort of nuanced position on the topic. They see the merits and the flaws in Sinek’s reasoning. BORING.
Group C: Simon Sinek Is Full of Shit
Back off my millennials, yo.
And so, without further ado…
Group A: Millennials, Amirite? SMDH
Emily George, Operations Coordinator
Just pick up the damn phone, millennials!
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
No; I was born during the “millennial” era but don’t identify with the “millennial” designation.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
The term millennial means a specific demographic of people, defined explicitly by age (born after 1983) and characterized by a particular set of behaviors related to interactions, both socially and as it relates to technology. I generally perceive the connotation of “millennial” as a negative term.
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
I still define impact in a very physical sense — to me, it can be measured by the level of meaningful engagement I can initiate and enable through my work. For me, it’s a lot about relationship building and maintenance — which I find most effectively done in-person.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
I do. My personal experience with this at Rocket Code has been particularly jarring. I come from a world of direct, in-person interactions — the world of restaurants and hospitality are almost exclusively face-to-face, in-person interactions, very little communication through technology. Coming to Rocket Code, it has been very uncomfortable to me how frequently my peers will send me a digital message when they are literally sitting feet away from me. I’ve also experienced some of my peers who will try any available angle of technology to resolve a customer service-type query, when a simple phone call would really be a faster, more direct route to a solution.
I also grew up just far enough behind the technology that Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, etc. never really stuck with me. I’m all about enjoying events and activities in the moment and still get frustrated when I feel like all of the people around me are just staring into their phones trying to capture it for a Snap or apply the “right” filter for IG. The obsession with these social media sites and interactions is just not something that I understand at all.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
Absolutely. I’ve advocated since the beginning of my time at Rocket Code that if we’re going to actively hire a young generation of employees that we owe them responsible professional development that will allow them to thrive in a diverse professional environment. I believe we absolutely need to act as advocates for responsible use of and interaction with technology in social/professional settings. I think we have a responsibility to demonstrate positive and negative consequences of inappropriate technology use and the impact it can have on career development.
What flaw(s) do you find in Sinek’s argument?
I don’t think any of this is particularly cut and dry. There are so many factors to consider, not the least of which will always be an individual’s home environment during their formative years. I was born early in 1983 — some would technically lump me in with the millennial generation, but I simply was not raised in a home environment that would have been conducive to developing strong relationships with technology. My family was never on the cutting edge of technology, I did’t get a cell phone until I was 18 years old and even then I was 21 before I had my first flip phone and 25 before I had a phone that could take a photo. I don’t even think there was wireless internet in my parents’ home until about a year ago.
I was raised in restaurants and very social settings and my parents instilled in me the value of a great handshake, looking a person in the eye, and the social graces of personal interactions. They equally instilled in me the grotesque nature of staring at a phone when engaging with another person or putting a phone on a table top — those things would just never have been imagined during my formative years, and I still have a hard time accepting them as appropriate behavior among my peers.
Tony Santucci, Lead Full-Stack Engineer
You’d think the damn things were pacemakers!
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
No; I was born before the “millennial” era.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
Severely negative in my book. The main characteristic that I’ve seen is that there seems to be an overly prevalent culture of entitlement. You aren’t due anything just because you were born. You work for it and act the part… then MAYBE you get the reward. That’s not guaranteed either.
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
You make an impact by creating and fostering relationships. You make an impact by being dependable. It doesn’t matter if you’re the janitor; if you make sure people can see themselves in the floor polish, people will notice and appreciate. That’s how you make an impact.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
Absolutely. I’ve seen it first hand. You’d think the damn things were pacemakers with the way they lifeline to them.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
Honestly, no. But I’m not sure who else can do it. I think employers are going to shoulder the burden of fixing them because if they don’t there’s going to be a talent deficit.
If not, who is responsible for helping millennials in this way? How should they do this?
Ideally, themselves. There is nothing anyone else can do when you don’t want help or refuse to see the error in your ways. Seek out help from those willing to give it. Don’t expect there to be someone there to tell you exactly what to do to work through this.
What flaw(s) do you find in Sinek’s argument?
I don’t know that I see many flaws... I do disagree with some [of it].
What other comments do you have about the topic?
The biggest flaw I see is that there is an emphasis on “through no fault of your own.” Bullshit, your birth certificate is proof of guilt. Embrace it, own it, and get yourself out of the hole you find yourself in. I think this is another scenario where people simply want to point the finger at the source and treat the symptoms. Treat the cause, make people accountable for their own existence.
Millennials aspire to marry the blue skies thinking of the Boomers with the grass-roots mindset of GenX.
Group B: The Middle-Grounders
Jessica McManus, UI/UX Designer
Millennials are punk rockers!
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
Yes; I was born during the “millennial” era.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
I know the real meaning is based on age, but I honestly think the term “millennials” gets used as, “those ready to bend the rules to find ultimate success for themselves (not necessarily what society has defined) and to try something new.” This doesn’t mean that millennials cause all types of ruckus, but they (we) are focused on defining success for ourselves and may take untraditional paths to get there. I think I just defined “punk rockers.” Maybe they’re all the same, ha!
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
When I look for jobs, I look for places where I can learn a lot in an area that I don’t yet have a lot of experience. I also look for areas that I see that are weak and that I can contribute my knowledge to fill that gap. To make an impact means to give and to receive. I want to walk out knowing that I made an impact by seeing an area that seemed weak when I started, to seeing that grow and be used successfully in practice. I also want to walk out knowing that I am armed with more skills to share in the future.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
Yes and no. First off, it’s ignorant to summarize all millennials this way. If a human is determined, they will be damn determined. Just because social media and technology is there, not everyone uses that as a crutch. Some people use it as a crutch, and some people use it as an extension of communication—to help make their lives easier. It’s quicker to send an email than to send a letter, type of thing. I just wrote an article on how my father recently became just as obsessed with Facebook as we did when it first came out. It’s not just a millennial thing.
I guess I’m saying two things. 1. Yes, it can cause a lack of social skills—if you allow it. It’s your choice, and not all “millennials” choose to do so. 2. People of all ages are demonstrating this. Again, only if they choose to.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
He makes it sound like we are dysfunctional animals. Social media and technology will continue to grow. People will choose for themselves how they use it. It’s not the employer’s responsibility to choose this. Maybe I’ve never experienced this so I think it sounds ridiculous.
If not, who is responsible for helping millennials in this way? How should they do this?
First and foremost, themselves. I think the problem is people use social media as a crutch for attention. Maybe if these social media platforms changed their marketing to be more about “staying connected” and/or “an extension of your communication,” people would look at them differently. I do have friends that use Facebook as an outlet to express inner emotions to gain attention rather than expressing opinions and staying in touch.
For example, Slack is marketed as a platform for “team communication.” People use Slack to share work documents, collaborate, and to organize communication around various topics. With that being said, like all social media/communication platforms, people use this as a crutch to get answers they could get quicker by talking to someone in person. Again, this is the decision of the human, the millennial, the whoever that is using the platform, not the employer or the platform itself.
Non Wels, Associate Editor
We have to break down all these boxes that constrain our minds. You dig?
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
No; I was born before the “millennial” era.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
Frankly, the term “millennial” means nothing to me. I’m cognizant of its negative connotation within our social framework at large, but I don’t agree with it. I choose to see all of us, regardless of age, as humans, and that is what defines us. I think we paint too broadly.
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
To me, making an “impact” where I work is about being true to and in line with my uniquely personal aspirations. If you work in a place that doesn’t mesh well with those, I’d say you should move on. But “making an impact” has also quickly become one of those modern workplace cliches we all so often embrace without thought or critical thinking. We embrace to the point where it becomes dull and meaningless, as it slowly becomes unique to no singular human.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
I do and I don’t. I do, but only because the millennial-age humans are, well, humans. And I think all humans have the capacity and tendency to rely too much on [insert thing that takes us away from the things we should, as society can inform us, be doing]. We all have examples in our own lives of friends or family members that have relied to the point of personal detriment. But I say that with a minuscule grain of salt, as I believe strongly in the idea that there is no one good way or bad way to live.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
No, I don’t think it’s the job of the employer to make judgments on what they perceive to be a lacking quality of a certain employee. If there are behaviors that are directly affecting the business, sure.
If not, who is responsible for helping millennials in this way? How should they do this?
If the over-reliance or what have you is negatively affecting them in some way, it’s up to them to change that. Friends can support, but ultimately it’s on them.
What flaw(s) do you find in Sinek’s argument?
I think the central themes are apt, but the argument is flawed. He paints with too broad a brush. Let’s drop the age thing and focus on the human.
What other comments do you have about the topic?
I think it’s easier to process information if we put things in boxes. And I think that’s what we’re doing here. It is, frankly, why things like organized religion exist. It’s scarier, more daunting to be open to the idea that it’s all a beautiful mess, not necessarily guided by uniform social constructs.
Christopher Pinchot, Front-End Designer
(Some of) these millennials need to get their shit together!
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
Yes; I was born during the “millennial” era.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
Just another title used to make sweeping generalizations.
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
Taking pride in what you do and striving to do it well.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
Yes. Not all millennials, but there are certainly many.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
Although technology may have prevented people from learning how to socialize, I don’t believe it works the other way around. Utilizing social skills and being a better communicator does not correlate with social technology usage. However, teaching these skills should be a necessary burden for employers because it will bring out the best in their employees.
If not, who is responsible for helping millennials in this way? How should they do this?
It should not be anyone’s responsibility to be the caretakers for those who chose to take comfort in abusing social technology.
What flaw(s) do you find in Sinek’s argument?
His (what could be seen as) demonization of technology. Don’t govern tech because humans can’t control themselves. All hail Darwinism.
What other comments do you have about the topic?
Sorry for my cynicism.
The workplace has become a psychological battlefield and the millennials have the upper hand, because they are tech savvy, with every gadget imaginable almost becoming an extension of their bodies. They multitask, talk, walk, listen and type, and text. And their priorities are simple: they come first.
Group C: Simon Sinek Is Full of Shit
Corey Hivner, Project Manager
It’s the economy, stupid!
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
No; I was born during the “millennial” era but don’t identify with the “millennial” designation.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
Positive: High value on connectedness, meaningful work, collective action. Negative: I have a hard time evaluating cohorts negatively since, arguably, we were “taught” most of how we live from our parents — mainly members of the Boomer cohort (also the cohort that seems to espouse the most negativity towards millennials). That being said, there are legitimate external forces that make the millennial situation uniquely challenging. Technology — this is the obvious one and needs no explanation. Economics — this is much less talked about.
When we speak of millennials, we tend to portray a very entitled, suburban, white person. What is much less discussed is economic disparity and the rising cost of education. The rising costs create a marketplace desperation (contrary to the perception that millennials can “hold out” for the best thing) leading to college graduates having to take jobs that they feel compromised in, in order to begin payment on student loans.
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
To not be an automaton. To contribute to more than just the production of the work. To shape how the work is done, the workplace culture, and the influence of the company on the competition and on the local community.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
Absolutely not. This is selective sampling at its worst.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
No. Because it’s not an issue.
If not, who is responsible for helping millennials in this way? How should they do this?
It’s not an issue, so no weaning is necessary.
What flaw(s) do you find in Sinek’s argument?
It’s an issue of sampling and of piggy-backing on a well-established and gross generalization. There are a lot of millennials and they might be “louder” than older generations. But there is zero evidence of a lack of social skills. If anything, these skills are emphasized more in schooling because of how necessary “soft skills” have become in one’s employment.
What other comments do you have about the topic?
Cohort analysis is always performed by older generations on younger generations. We even do it to peers that are a few years younger than us. There is always ageism — this is the relevant question: How do all these millennials relate to all these X-ers/Boomers that are largely in charge? Does Robert Putnam have an answer? Who is bowling alone? Because it certainly isn’t the millennials.
Andrew Watkins, CX Expert
The dude is just trying to sell books!
Do you consider yourself a millennial (born after ~1983)?
Yes; I was born during the “millennial” era.
What does the term “millennial” mean to you? What connotation does this term carry (negative, positive, otherwise)?
Neutral. It is a label used to classify an age bracket for the sake of demographic analysis. Though, when broad generalizations (mostly biased) are applied for the sake of argument, it becomes a limiting heuristic, thus negative. It is a slippery slope.
What does it mean to you to make an “impact” where you work?
Impact, to me, is defined as seeing or feeling an outcome as a result of personal contribution. Some people fail to see this when their work does not align with their passion or vision. This is by no way a millennial-only issue.
Do you agree with Sinek that millennials lack certain social skills and demonstrate an over-reliance on technology and social media?
No. To perhaps borrow some logic from Sinek, that is like asking if our parents, who have more experience communicating with other humans — by a couple decades — are better communicators. But, if anything, growing up with technology, globalization has accelerated our ability to communicate with others in the new medium that technology has created, but perhaps not the old, pre-Internet-renaissance medium that some still cling to. Though, to perhaps agree with Simon, the Internet and social media do seemingly enhance open-mindedness in those that have it; the “echo chamber,” closed-mindedness in others. To me, these mindsets moderate communication more than the new technological tools that have enabled changes to take place. Millennials sure as hell didn’t elect Donald J. Trump as president of the USA.
Do you think employers have a responsibility to help millennials develop the social skills Sinek claims they lack, and to help wean them off tech/social media as social crutches? If yes, how should they do this?
All employers should evaluate any employee that appears to be struggling. All employers with ethics and morals (and even some that don’t) will work with said employees to develop a performance improvement plan. If that employee is a millennial and the root cause of struggle is communication, great. Does the data show said occurrence happens significantly more often with millennials than other gens, now and when they were entering the work force? Who knows — Simon doesn’t cite a single damn source in his talk, other than subjective “conversations he’s had.” One thing we do know is Sinek makes money off of book sales, which in theory would go up if this were a novel problem only his sage teachings can solve.
If not, who is responsible for helping millennials in this way? How should they do this?
Because requiring every person in the country to meditate every day is unethical… haha — I won’t go there. Humans are pattern-recognition organisms with powerful but impressionable brains. The acceleration that technology provides also applies to advertising, propaganda, and other forms of mind-numbing media. We as a culture need to grow up and decide that monetary profit is not the most important social construct we’ve created. With the Internet at our bidding, I hope millennials will be the first generation of parents to stop telling their kids they are wrong all the time but to listen and think, to mindfully flow with and take advantage of new technologies, to embrace change, and to embrace the novel and fresh attitudes and mindsets that younger generations provide.
What flaw(s) do you find in Sinek’s argument?
1. He’s attempting to solve a problem using the same level of thinking that “created” it. 2. His prohibition argument (for the sake of argument nonetheless) is fundamentally and logically invalid 3. He fails to acknowledge all the positives that optimistic and idealistic mindsets, which he seemingly claims are exclusive to entitled millennials, provide.
What other comments do you have about the topic?
I agree with most of what this Cracked article asserted (with much profanity).
And it occurred to me that in this new millennial life of instant and ubiquitous connection, you don’t in fact communicate so much as leave messages for one another, these odd improvisational performances, often sorry bits and samplings of ourselves that can’t help but seem out of context. And then when you do finally reach someone, everyone’s so out of practice or too hopeful or else embittered that you wonder if it would be better not to attempt contact at all.
