A 4 Min Diary: Wishing On Festivals And Birthdays

A journey of how they became just another random day

Back at my primary school days, I would celebrate my birthday during the summer holidays. I distinctly remember how it used to be. There were two Kirana stores near my home, from where I would get a box of chocolates. The shopkeepers would offer me extra for free as it was my birthday. I would then go on to distribute them to all the flats in my apartment.

The distribution wouldn’t stop there. I would even go to the neighboring apartments.

Today, I don’t see birthdays any differently than a normal day. I don’t distribute chocolates anymore. I don’t even know the names of my neighbors, forget about knowing the neighbors from adjacent apartments. I don’t remember what I did during my last birthday. All that lingers are a few monotonous wishes from friends on FB and WhatsApp.

Likewise, celebrating a friend's birthdays used to be different. At school, students would bring chocolates and distribute them to everyone. That’s when we wish them. I don’t know if stuff like this is followed these days. Then in the evenings, there used to be birthday parties. I attended a few back in the day. Each birthday was unique and memorable.

I started using social media in 2015 when I began attending university. The first internet tradition I got exposed to was people changing the WhatsApp group name on birthdays and everyone wishing them there. And then suddenly, you realize, you are digitally connected with almost every single person you have ever met. I was able to reconnect with people I did schooling with. Many of them were those I thought I will never hear from again. And with college, the number of contacts kept increasing.

Using social media for wishes was great. I could wish a person I haven’t talked to in years without making it seem awkward. It provided an interesting opportunity to reconnect with lost friends or catch up on lives. In fact, after a couple of months, I used to be the guy who changed the group names. I made sure I wished everyone on their special day.

I was not socially active though, to attend my friend's parties, treats, or outings. I would spend my own at the computer lab or CCD working on something or the other.

Eventually, every other day someone I knew celebrated their birthday. The fatigue started kicking in. Now, 2–4 people on average have their birthdays falling on any given day. Writing those two words every day multiple times all round the year- the wish simply lost its meaning. A lot of my friends stopped wishing on social media altogether. People formed smaller circles where they would wish each other.

Here’s what I mean, when I wish you, “Happy birthday” these days on FB or in the groups.

“Hey there! I know/remember you. Do you know/remember me? I still exist”

In fact, I am skeptical of wishing people I know well. I show my wishes with different gestures though. That’s a topic for another day.

If I know you pretty well and we are in regular touch, I will probably not wish you (or send you a GIF instead of a traditional wish). Not to sound ignorant though. It simply means that you have transcended the state of formal namesake wishes.

I guess I am not really a birthdays person. I would rather celebrate every other day of life equivalently.

And so was the case with festivals. Diwali used to be a grand celebration. We used to burst crackers for at least a week. We experimented with fireworks, played games, and did all random things.

It has been a few years since I did any of that. I spent my last Diwali alone, binge-watching a TV series. From chasing rockets to seeking solitude, something changed across the decade. The same melancholy swept over all festivals. We used to play Holi in the streets. And during Dusherra we would visit our grand parent’s place spending time playing games and watching TV.

It has been several years since I did anything similar. Life got a lot busy and celebrations lost their charm, slowly, and steadily. These days, I don’t even remember to wish people on festivals. And when I really want to wish, I just put up a status update on WhatsApp, hoping that the wish reaches everyone I want to wish. So, yeah, when I put that status update I do mean to wish everyone seeing that personally and hope the best for them.

Perhaps, the rather introverted path I took led me here. Although these changes are not something I would regret, they do reflect the bittersweetness of growing old, away from traditional societies.

A few years down the line, I am sure the way I look at functions, festivals, and birthdays would evolve to be very different from today. When I read this blog then, I guess I will remember the roots of my thoughts.

Fun fact- I wrote this diary entry, almost impromptu because I didn’t feel like wishing my friend on their birthday or wishing on the occasion of today’s festival.

For some reason, the more I know someone, the less I feel like explicitly wishing them. I wonder how my future self will feel about this stuff.

Turned out more like an introspection of thoughts. A word of advice to anyone reading this- don’t be too formal or overthink like me in these kinds of things 😂.

Until next time :)