It’s About Time
I have a complicated relationship with time and it has led me to have the most extraordinary conversations about what we are to all take from this moment in history.
time /tʌɪm/
noun
1. the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.
I have a complicated relationship with time. I’m always acutely aware of it, constantly think I could be making better use of it and fundamentally have a deep and almost mystical appreciation for it (there’s a reason it’s the basis for my novel). Now I say complicated, because this all ladders uncomfortably to:
1. an unachievable goal of endless productivity and
2. the guilt ridden punishment that I slather on myself when this productivity is not achieved.
As I type I wonder if this sounds familiar to anyone?
COVID-19 presented a threat of this relationship turning on me. All this time and nothing to show for it — what a failure. I chose to move away from focussing on productivity and instead to try and use this slow-down well. To make something of it. To perhaps even find a deeper respect for, and better, my own existence for this indefinite progress.
Over recent months time has had an almost palpable, physical presence in my life. If I chose to reach out I’m sure I could touch it. I don’t because I know that in doing so it would disappear and take my appreciation for it with it. So I leave it be and bathe in its energy instead.
This energy has led me to have the most extraordinary conversations about what we are to all take from this moment in history; a better appreciation for our families, a rediscovery of femininity, a love for making, a repulsion of being alone, a diagnosis of mental illness, a rehabilitation from mental illness, the shedding of toxicity in its many forms, the uncovering of hidden systems, the cries of invisible voices, new hobbies, new pets, new lovers.
I wanted to share a few Edges from these timely conversations here. They helped me really think about my relationship with time, and how I want to work on it.
I hope you enjoy the exploration as much as I did.
Learn: How To Appreciate The Time You Have
Perspective is one of the hardest things to hold on to when I’m in really busy periods. It’s easier for me to be swept away with the pull of commitments, rather than pausing to determine where my intentions are best spent.
This Wait But Why post was a humbling call for much needed perspective on what time I have left with the things that I love, and therefore allowing me to question where I really want to spend it. I’d thoroughly recommend the read.
Fact: Tracks Of Time
I was alerted to a glorious fact this week by food writer, Clare Finney. Did you know that standardised time did not exist across the UK until middle of the 19th century? Cities each held their own times (dictated by sundials) and were often 20 minutes off Greenwhich Mean Time in London.
All that changed in November 1840 when the Great Western Railway announced new standardised timekeeping to ensure there were no accidents or collisions. It makes me reflect on how much much we take for granted that time really is a construct of our wonderful imaginations.
Bathe: Sarasa Sounds
Switching off is not something I’m good at. My mind is compulsively active and I struggle to put time aside to meditate. A few years ago I followed a hunch that a more active or guided type of meditation might be better suited to me and I discovered Sound (or Gong) Baths. Now, bear with me here as I was sceptical at first… but I was also desperate for a break from myself, so I gave them a go.
Sarasa Sounds is run by a woman I met on this search and she’s recorded a few of her live sessions on SoundCloud to access at home during COVID (nb. definitely worth listening on a speaker not your phone). I can’t explain the benefits, nor do I really feel the need to, but these 45 mins sessions allow me to very quickly access Deep Relax States; the liminal and recharging space between consciousness and sleep. I struggled to put time aside to meditate but now I gift myself the hour with these recordings and am all the better for it. Plus, if you really think about, it’s basically just treating yourself to a live music performance so there’s really nothing to lose.
Listen: When Time Pulls Lives Apart
Kate Tempest is one of the most talented spoken word artists and poets I’ve ever come across, she’s an orator really, and her music is heart-achingly good (this album is brilliant). Hold Your Own is no exception; ‘When time pulls lives apart, hold your own’.
The Edge Atlas is a cartographic cornucopia of inspiration from the edges.
Join me on my exploration into how diverse perspectives might inspire creativity and innovation in these strange times of isolation… and hopefully beyond.
