Unaware versus Uncaring: The Difference That Saves Relationships

Years ago, while helping our son adjust his behavior, his favorite comeback phrase was “I don’t care!” Countless couples in counseling state the main problem with their partner is “it feels like they don’t care.”

It’s a common phrase. Crops up all too often in all types of relationships. And it seldom means what you think it means.

We think we repeatedly tell our beloved what’s important to us. When our desires and requests seem to fall on deaf ears, our ego wants to say they don’t care about what’s important to us. And then by extension we take it to mean our partner doesn’t care about us.

Ah… meaning… the ego’s preferred playground.

What meaning do we give to everything we see, and hear and experience? Chances are we imagine our worst case scenario of fear, chaos and loss, right?

What’s Really Going On?

Think about an experience you had with your beloved (or another) recently. Were they truly uncaring? Or did they just not have the information they needed to effectively respond? I propose they may simply be unaware.

Let me explain.

We know all the reasons why we want someone to do something (and no, “because I’m the mom and I said so” is not…