Strange Attractors
Where does romantic attraction fit within a self-deterministic and chaotic world?
On the topic of love and destiny: I think given the role that chaos plays in the flawed notion of “fate”, I would say it’s quite misleading for one to say that they have found their soul mate. Statistically, it’s unlikely that you happened to stumble on the one person on Earth (out of 7 billion) that is specifically designed for you. But more importantly, believing in the idea of soul mates may lead to unrealistic expectations of future (or current) relationships.
The truth is, there are no soul mates. Given the proper set of circumstances, any two people could fall in love at any point in time due to small decisions. This is the essence of chaos. And as such, love has very little (or nothing) to do with “destined perfection”.
Instead, I view the idea of love in this way: As the connection strengthens, the affection simply grows over time. Like a flower! Or like a banana? Or like malignant melanoma slowly spreading into your heart. However you wish to see it. I'm just being whimsical here.
But to the young lovers reading this, it doesn't mean your love is superficial and meaningless. Quite the opposite. There’s so much meaning in knowing that the feeling of love is made more powerful by the ongoing drama of shared experience (and the reciprocation that may follow). Sternberg would be the first to tell you so. Mere exposure and familiarity literally breeds attraction. It’s the synergy of love’s labour. A kind of symbiotic, mutually-causal empathy, or something.
To me, this is a far more deeper and satisfying explanation as opposed to simply attributing one’s heartfelt emotions for another human down to “it was always going to happen anyway”. It wasn't. And that’s why it is special. You met someone who you would have missed, had you missed that train, or chose another university, or got fired from your job. Defying all the odds, s/he is your impossible partner. A 1 in 7 billion miracle that wasn't meant to be.
