“Purchase receipt” email
Score… 🥁 2/10
Have you ever been sent an email that’s so excruciatingly at odds with what you thought the sender stood for that you wince?
That’s why I picked out the email below.
It came from a yoga company. You know, yoga. That thing people do to feel calm and strong and positive and optimistic and connected to themselves and to others.
All the feelings you don’t feel when you see the word “policy”.
Policies are like sports bras. Useful for keeping stuff under control, but you probably don’t want a sweaty one shoved in your face.
Can you guess where this is going?
Backstory:
The email below is a receipt that came through right after I booked a block of four yoga sessions. I’ve used this company’s studios on and off for a couple of years. (I’m no yoga bunny, more yoga dalek, but hey, a gal can dream.) Their setup is ultra automated: all booking and admin happens online through their website, emails, and the iPads at their studios. So you’d think they’d want to make extra sure every message they send goes above and beyond to reinforce that yoga feeling, right?
Funny how things pan out sometimes.
(Sender anonymised to “Xxxx” out of courtesy. Think you know who? Guess away.)
— — — — — Forwarded message — — — —
Subject: “Xxxx purchase receipt (with T&Cs)”
Oh joy, T&Cs. I smell a rat. And it’s a company trying to keep complaints at bay before the customer has even had a chance to get any value out of the thing they’ve just spent money on. Oops.
“Dear Corissa”
“Thank you for your purchase at Xxxx. Below is your receipt and vital information regarding policies at Xxxx. Please read carefully and keep this for your records.”
POLICIES? In plural? As well as T&Cs? My chakras are quaking in their boots.
Okay okay, I’m old enough to know that most policies come from a good place. They formalise processes to prevent problems from occurring on both sides of the customer<>company relationship. But as anyone who’s ever made a reasonable request only to hear “nope ‘fraid not it’s against company policy” knows, policies are best kept out of your brand vernacular.
“If you have received a no show/late cancellation charge please note fees are charged two days in arrears. The fee you received today corresponds to a class missed/late cancelled two days before.”
I’ve only just booked this bundle of sessions. Why am I being accused of not turning up already?
“Please bear with us as we are a small team with a large number of queries to handle.”
Right… so they’re either enjoying massive success and haven’t hired enough support staff, or they’re terminally incompetent and haven’t hired enough support staff. There is no world in which this sentence gets a pass.
“Sale Date: 03/02/2020–11:28
Exp: 03/04/2020
<a bunch of payment details>”
“We appreciate your business — if you purchased a series, please note the expiration date.”
Firstly, they know what I’ve bought. Secondly, I shouldn’t have to go hunting for the expiration date (which is cryptically listed as “Exp” in the table above. Confused? I didn’t clock that either.)
“Please only arrive 5–10 mins early as the studio only opens when the teacher arrives.”
Hooray! A genuinely helpful nugget.
“Please retain this receipt for your records. Thank you!”
As things stand I’m unlikely to print and frame it but let’s see where this goes.
“Thank you for choosing to practice Xxxx […]
To find your most affordable class rate, we recommend our Monthly Membership rates […]
Please follow the links below and ALWAYS READ YOUR CONTRACT […]
Please read the below information as it contains essential information regarding your purchase and our policies. […]”
No joke, there were 100+ lines of stuffy text about policies here in the original email. I don’t want to give you the same headache the onslaught created so I’ve axed the lot. Topics ranged from the forgivable (signing in, cancellations, suspensions) to the sacrilegious (irrelevant offers, irrelevant information about services I haven’t purchased, a ton of gubbins about the technical integration they use for bookings). Again: I understand the need to cover off a point or two, but is this really the time and place? If it’s important to know before I book, cover it then. If it’s only important to know when I’m next thinking about booking in future, cover it then. And for the love of all that is holy please frame it without the word “policy”.
“If you have any additional questions please contact us: <link>”
My main question is, are you trying to cause such distress with this email that I’ll panic about my state of mind and book more yoga? I dunno. Maybe you’re an evil genius.
”Thank you!
The Xxxx team”
— — — — — End — — — — -
Conclusion:
Email Teardown Club score = 2/10.
I can’t give 0/10 because… well, that wouldn’t be in the spirit of yoga. But c’mon people. With a service like this, especially one that relies on cold hard screen-based interactions (except for the yoga classes themselves), can you really afford not to get your comms working hard for you, to hammer home your message, your reason for being? If I had any other yoga classes to choose from where I live, I’d switch quicker than you can say “namaste”.
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*Side note* These teardowns are just my gut reactions as a real life customer, mashed together with my copywriter background, to explore what good and bad messaging looks like outside the sender’s ivory tower. I’m only one person, and I might not be representative. Agree or disagree? Tell me in the comments!
Cheerio,
Corissa
P.S. If you need a hand with your messaging strategy, I can help. I also have a few slots of 121 writing coaching up for grabs. Find out more 👉 corissanunn.com
