The Train is Coming

Today I was reminded that I am not the only one who grieves.

photo by abridges

I read a social media post today, written by someone I’ve known a very long time. Like me, he has buried three sons, two as infants, one at 12 years old. The older child got killed in a tragic train accident.

There was no way anyone could have stopped the train or pushed him out of the way. It wasn’t an accident anyone could’ve predicted.

Sometimes awful things happen, and we can’t make sense of them because we live in a broken world.

My friend said he felt like a failure. I tried to muster up the words to cause him to see himself as I see him. At the same time, I understand from my very soul exactly how that feels.

Even though he was in no way to blame, he is a Daddy. A Daddy always feels responsible for his child, as does a Mama.

I say “Daddy” and “Mama” because that’s what we call our parents here in the South, and that’s what our children call us. We love our babies, and all their lives we believe it’s our responsibility to keep them safe.

If something goes wrong, as parents, we blame ourselves.

We strive to protect them with our lives. God forbid that anything should happen to them! But something did happen to our kids.

The FAILURE TO PROTECT

That’s what I call it relating to me. Of course, I don’t see it the same way when I look at others. It doesn’t matter if this is rational or not. When your child dies, rationality flies out the window, and only flies back in once in a while.

I wrote out a little bit of my story one October, and here that is:

So that’s my struggle, at least my biggest one.

It’s my own heartbreak that leads me to finally reach out to others in their own desperate loss.

To embrace the semi-colon.

To say that another day. To cry with those in the depths of their own sorrow. And to notice those who, like Mikey once told me, are out there and just like him. The people on the outside — the fringes — — the ones left behind.

photography by abridges

It might be the guy sitting on the side of the road with a dog and a sign. It could be the lady standing in line at Walmart with hollow eyes, the desperate addict with nowhere to turn, or the homeless and jobless person who everyone has given up on. It’s always either someone seeking something but not knowing what it is, or someone who has long since given up the search .

photography by abridges

I want to reach them because I know what some people didn’t know and couldn’t know — THE TRAIN IS COMING.

, and I have the responsibility to push as many people as I can out of the way before it gets here.

Wouldn’t you do that if you could?

I know someone who would have, but never got the chance. Today I am asking God to give that Daddy and Mama comfort and the peace of knowing that there is nothing bigger than God.

Not even that train.

Allison

First published by MoodyOops April 7, 2019 https://moodyoops.com/the-train-is-coming/

I’m an artist and a writer. I believe in God, family, hard work, and community. I try to use my gifts to reach out, encourage, and motivate, and to let other people like me know that they aren’t alone in this broken world.

The Emotional Mess 2

Finding beauty and hope in the wreckage of life.

Allison Divine Bridges

Written by

I write about recovery, life, death, personal responsibility, and other stuff. I live in Louisiana, and do art, photos, and blogging with a day job on the side.

The Emotional Mess 2

Finding beauty and hope in the wreckage of life.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade