Jan 1
There are many Crap ways to Spend New Year’s Eve…
There are more crap ways to spend New Year’s Eve than there are stars in the sky. Here are just a few examples!
As we start the new year with more enthusiasm and an optimistic outlook for the year ahead, we take a look at some reasons not to celebrate the new year…
Reasons not to celebrate new years eve:
Going to a party full of total randos going nuts because it’s New Year, where you shelter in a corner with your mates and then walk home in the freezing cold.
Holding a party where your home gets wrecked by total strangers going mad just because it’s New Year — and they think they can!
Going to a fancy dress party where everyone else has taken it really seriously and hired amazing costumes and you’re wearing a wizard, the one you got cheap after Halloween.
Going to a crap party where you end up trapped in the kitchen with a committed evangelist for the DC cinematic universe at midnight because he believes he’ll get a kiss from you at midnight!
Going to a family party, where the drink runs out just after the off-license closes.
Going to a small gathering at a friend’s house, with ample time to reflect that these aren’t really your best friends and never will be.
Having friends for a small gathering at your house, with ample time to reflect as above but you’ve had to provide booze and nibbles — WOW is that fair?
Staying in alone, because it’s absolutely tragic.
Staying in with your partner, because it’s somehow even more tragic.
Staying in with the kids, because the hours from 7 pm until midnight have never, ever been longer than when counting them down with two wired kids running around all night long!
Going to the local pub, where you swiftly learn all the locals know each other and celebrate together and you’re there like Billy No-Mates — sounds familiar!
More, reasons not to celebrate new years eve:
Going to a nightclub, where the doorman demands an extra £20 per person to let you in before midnight because nightclubs are the happy face of organized crime.
Going to a comedy gig, where none of the comics have bothered coming up with any special material for the night and are doing the same tired shit they’ve been doing for years.
Going to Central London to watch the fireworks, with a freezing cold wait for three hours followed by a five-hour journey home.
Going to Edinburgh for Hogmanay, which is a great way to find out anti-English prejudice is no joke, and friendliness to other Scots is surpassingly rare too.
Going to Paris, where it turns out the locals spend the whole evening eating because of course they bloody do.
The year ahead always brings new energy and optimism, but is this really the case, does anything change?
The New Year is all about fresh starts and looking towards the future with new optimism, so New Year’s Eve can signal the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new one in 2023.
For some people, yes it probably does but I bet most of us have experienced a shit new year at some stage of our life, but we don't really admit it do we.
The next article will look at reasons to celebrate new years eve!
By Pete Moore — Seamless Entertainment
