The Epic Summer Culinary Challenge 6: You’re Killin’ Me Smalls!
…in which I strive to create the ultimate campfire-free S’more
We have a fire pit in our backyard. This might not be totally encouraged for our Los-Angeles-nothing-but-dead-grass backyard, but being from SC, I had to find a way to get a good fire going on some of LA’s cooler summer nights. Instead of horrifying my friends and roommates, which was definitely a worry as I was putting the fire pit together, our backyard fire pit has become a popular place to wind down on an evening after class or on a weekend after a cookout.
One of the pleasant side-effects of the fire pit is that everyone is going nuts for S’mores again. We always have to keep a stash of chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers in the pantry, just in case we decide to get a fire going. Where there’s fire, there’s S’mores.
And so, when I was trying to come up with some original recipes for the summer challenge, I knew I wanted to find a way to capture the flavors of a S’more without going through the effort of building your own campfire.
With all the determination to create the perfect campfire-free S’mores, I summoned the wisdom of the world’s greatest S’more expert: Hamilton “Ham” Porter (hence the photo at the top of the article).
If you haven’t picked up on it yet, Ham Porter is from the quintessential ’90s coming-of-age film The Sandlot.
*author’s note: or, as a very young Thomas called the film the first time he saw it — “Puppy Eat Ball”*
With Ham Porter to impress and our childhood cravings for chocolate and melty marshmallow to satisfy, let’s try to create the ultimate campfire-free S’more.
But first, some mood music:
The Food
For Thomas’ Campfire-Free S’mores, you will need the following ingredients:
*author’s note: once again, I’m not really sold on the name, I’m totally open to reader suggestions*
*author’s other note: I would actually read any suggestions/comments if y’all want to send them. Anyone? Anyone? Are you out there?*
Crust:
- 1 box graham crackers (I used gluten-free, feel free to use whatever)
- 1 stick butter, melted
- 1/4 teaspoon smoked salt
Filling:
- 4 large egg yolks
- 2 cups heavy cream
- 3/4 cups sugar
- 1/4 cup cocoa powder
- 3 tbsp cornstarch
- 1 & 1/4 teaspoon smoked salt
- 1 & 1/2 cups whole milk
- 8 oz chopped semisweet chocolate
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- Large marshmallows, cut into thirds
Now, I’m always sure to point out to y’all when you can and can’t make substitutions in my recipes, and there’s one very important ingredient in this recipe that you simply must have.
Think you know what it is? Take a guess?
…
…
That’s right! It’s the smoked salt! Have a gold star!
The smoked salt is what sets this apart from any other S’more dessert you might have had. It’s really going to give you that flavor that is usually missing when you lose the whole campfire part of the process.
I got some bonfire smoked salt from the spice stand at the farmer’s market. To be honest, I don’t really care what you have to do to find it. Break the law for all I care. Just make sure that smoked salt is in this recipe!
To make the crust:
Crush crackers, preferably in a food processor/blender if you have it. If not, can be done by hand. Your arms are just going to be tired after.
In a medium bowl, mix cracker crumbs with melted butter and salt. Mix until combined.
Press crumb mixture into individual ramekins. Set aside.
To make the filling:
Whisk egg yolks and cream together. This will be more difficult to do if your arms are sore from crushing the graham crackers.
*author’s note: I’m not going to force you to buy a blender, but come on, you should own a blender*
In a saucepan, combine sugar, cocoa, cornstarch and 1 tsp of the salt.
Add milk slowly to the saucepan, whisking until smooth.
Put pan over medium heat. Stir it constantly with a rubber spatula. You’re gonna want to make sure you scrape the sides and bottom while you’re stirring. Do this until the mixture starts to simmer and thicken just a little. It’ll be about 5–6 minutes.
Take the pan off the heat and very slowly pour it into the yolk/cream mixture, whisking the whole time.
*author’s note: having a friend/sous chef really helps for this step, or else you’re gonna end up with chocolate scrambled eggs*
*author’s note to self: chocolate scrambled eggs…possible recipe idea?*
*author’s note back to self: ehhh…probably not the most appetizing idea*
Pour your mixture back into the saucepan and put it back on the heat. Continue cooking over medium heat and doing what?
…
…
That’s right! Stirring and scraping the bottom and sides of the pan! You are paying attention! Everyone gets another gold star!!!!
Do this until the mixture begins to simmer, about 7 minutes.
Once simmering, reduce the heat to low and stir until the mixture thickens.
Immediately pour the mixture through a fine-meshed strainer and into a large bowl. Discard anything solid left in the strainer. We’ll have none of that in our chocolate S’more filling!
Add the vanilla and chocolate to the bowl and stir until the chocolate is melted and the filling is smooth.
Pour your chocolate filling over your crusts in the ramekins. Leave room at the top for the marshmallows, of course.
Press plastic wrap tightly on top of the ramekins and refrigerate at least 3 hours.
Ok, you’ve been very patient for at least 3 hours. It’s time to try some of these S’mores out for yourself. Remove however many ramekins you plan to eat immediately from the fridge. The rest will keep in the fridge for a few days.
*author’s note: but good luck not eating these all right away*
Sprinkle just a delicate little fairy dust sprinkle of smoked salt on top to really get that smoky, campfire flavor in there.
Cover the tops of the ramekins with your marshmallows. You’re gonna want them divided up into thirds, but I don’t have any great solution here on how to do that. Marshmallows are hard to tear and even harder to cut with a knife. Just do whatever works for you.
*author’s note: feel free to help yourself to a marshmallow or two during the process. You’ve been working hard. You deserve it*
Once the marshmallows are in place, it’s time for my favorite part.
BRING OUT THE FLAMETHROWER!!!!!
“But Thomas,” you’re saying to your computer screen, “You said there wasn’t going to be any fire in this recipe.”
No, I said there isn’t a campfire in this recipe. We still get to fire up our trusty brulee torch!
*author’s note: and also, stop talking out loud to your computer. Everyone else in Starbucks is looking at you weird right now*
By the way, if you don’t have a brulee torch for this recipe, you’re gonna need one. This is like that test your teacher gives you to make sure you read all the instructions before starting.
Now fire up that brulee torch and toast those marshmallows to your liking.
And there you have it! All the flavors of S’mores without ever having to light a fire. I sure hope Ham Porter would be proud.
*author’s note: and this S’more you get to eat with a spoon, so it’s a little less messy*
*author’s other note: provided you know how to properly operate a spoon. At this point, I’m hoping you do*
Your Entertainment Pairings for the Week:
You can’t talk about The Sandlot without listening to this song. Best scene in the film? I say yes.
For your movie recommendation, I’m going to go ahead and assume you’ve seen The Sandlot. If you haven’t, do that now please. I’ll wait.
Ok, now that you’re back, I have another coming-of-age/camping movie to go with our S’mores theme, but this one is a little more recent. The Kings of Summer is coming of age comedy that came out of Sundance in 2013. It’s a charming comedy about 3 boys who decide to run away from home and build a new house in the wilderness. It’s far from perfect, but there are some moments of brilliance here, especially from Moises Arias in a hilarious performance as “the weird friend.”
That’s it for this week! Hungry yet? Come back next week; I’m counting on all of you to hold me accountable for this challenge! If you have any recipes or ideas you’d like me to try out during the challenge, leave them in the comments or Tweet @hears_a_who. And if you missed an earlier entry into the challenge, find them all over at The Epic Culinary Magazine!!!!
