Writing Through Stressful Times
A meditation by Elizabeth Gilbert taught me how to write through my stress.
Everyone handles stress in different ways. Some people are paralyzed by stress. Some people can shape shift stress into productivity. And some people can compartmentalize stress so they can get necessary to-dos done before confronting their stress.
Saying we’re in the midst of a stressful time is an understatement. As I self-isolate at home with my family during the coronavirus pandemic, I’m beginning to realize that my method of stress management right now is compartmentalizing, and unfortunately, that hasn’t been good news for my writing.
I’ve been compartmentalizing my stress in a closed box on the other side of my brain in order to complete my work-from-home job duties so I can keep earning a paycheck.
I keep the stress in that box as I spend time with my kids and make sure they’re completing the online assignments from their teachers.
The stress stays in that box, even as I can sense it coming closer to the surface, so I can practice a little self-care like doing yoga, going for a run, walking my dog, taking a bubble bath or meditating.
By the time I sit down to write, that compartmentalized box of stress has burst wide open, and all my brain can do is stare at my computer screen and wonder where my words have gone.
A Letter from Love
It wasn’t until I stumbled upon a new meditation on the app Insight Timer by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the popular memoir Eat Pray Love, that I found a way to write through the stress.
During the 23-minute meditation called Facing Fear with Compassion, Gilbert explains that one way she faces her fear is by writing herself a letter from a place of unconditional love. In that letter, she writes words that she would want someone to say to her in that moment. Through writing, her fear dissolves and she calms down.
The day after I listened to the meditation, I found myself compartmentalizing my stress again. I was able to get my work done. I practiced yoga in my spare bedroom. I made lunch for my kids. Then, when I had a moment to sit down to write, the stress came rolling in like a rogue wave, my brain fogged up and I felt overwhelmed with fatigue. But this time, instead of walking away from my laptop, I channeled my inner Elizabeth Gilbert and decided to write myself a letter from love.
I opened a fresh Google document and thought back to Gilbert’s prompt to get myself started: “What are the words that I wish somebody else would say to me right now?”
I expected to get stuck immediately after I typed “Dear Heather.” But I didn’t. In fact, I discovered that I was longing to face my fears and stress with so many words from love that I couldn’t stop typing.
Some words I borrowed from Gilbert, but most of the words were mine, in a voice as compassionate and supportive and loving as I would use for anyone else who came to me in search of compassion and support and love in this incredibly unpredictable, stressful time.
Give yourself a break, I wrote. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can do. You are not alone. Hang in there.
Creative, Resourceful, Resilient
Just as Gilbert promised, writing that letter calmed me. And because of that calm, I was able to open another Google doc and work on the writing that had been giving me so much trouble on other days when my stress paralyzed me.
Addressing and releasing my fears and stress through the written word made me realize that Gilbert was right about another point she made in the meditation: Humans are creative, resourceful and resilient.
Yes, this is a stressful time. Yes, there are countless things out of our control. Yes, what we once considered normal has evaporated, and no one knows what normal will look like when this is over. But if we remember to be the creative, resourceful and resilient humans that we are in the meantime, we can find ways to help ourselves get through to the other side of stress.
For me, that now means using my own written words to find calm, to find self-compassion, to find stress-relief, and yes, to find more words so I can continue to work on my writing projects.
One Word at a Time
I’m not saying I’m keeping up a typical daily word count during the pandemic. Far from it. But after days, weeks of not writing, I’m letting myself feel a sense of accomplishment from opening my laptop and jotting down some words. Even if those words will be deleted another day, I’ll remember what a struggle it was just to get that far. I can take each writing session word by word.
Gilbert concludes the meditation with the reminder that sometimes we need to take life one day at a time, and sometimes we need to take it one breath at a time. When it comes to my writing during this stressful period, I’m reminding myself to take it one word at a time, just as I remind myself of the words I wrote in my letter.
Give yourself a break. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can do. You are not alone. Hang in there.
