What If Your Friend Did the Sexual Harassment?
I’d rather prioritize the victim than my friend. Oh, we’re no longer being friends.
Gender-based oppression is not only an individual problem between victims and perpetrators but a structural problem that has a long history. In Indonesia itself, we can talk about colonization which clearly shows practices, violence, human trafficking, and other forms that are not only inherited in our laws and regulations, but also the attitudes and behavior of law enforcement officers who still discriminate against victims of sexual violence. Therefore, cases of sexual violence will always be the biggest scourge that stalks everyone.
In sexual violence, prosecuting the perpetrator is a short-term option that must be done as a form of support for the recovery of the victim, the rehabilitation of the perpetrator as well as an effort to create a safe space for others. For the long-term option, what is important in the context of sexual violence is not only the date on how to prosecute the perpetrator, but how to make it disappear from our lives altogether.
Perpetrators of sexual crimes are not only present from people we do not know at all. The latest report is that three girls in East Luwu, South Sulawesi were raped by their own biological father. This proves that anyone can be a victim and a perpetrator. Caring as close and intimately as possible, not in a relationship. Not infrequently, cases of sexual violence are only responded to or solved by giving punishment to the perpetrators. Expelled from a group, work environment or friendship. But the big question is, does removing the perpetrators from the scene ensure that the perpetrators are not doing the same thing out there?
So, what should we do when a friend in our group becomes the perpetrator? Here’s several things can be done to adjudicate sexual cases.
Prioritizing Victims
In many cases, in addition to receiving poor treatment, victims also receive multiple injuries through the responses of those closest to them or law enforcement officers. Victim blaming tends to blame the victim and repeatedly interrogates the victim, causing new trauma.
So, what is meant by prioritizing the victim? Prioritizing the victim means prioritizing all the victim’s needs: access recovery, storytelling, support and more.
When a victim tries to get up the courage to talk to the people they trust, don’t be ignored or even judged. Support from the closest people is one of the efforts to restore the victim’s mentality. So as the most intimate people or people trusted by the victim, try to provide reasonable assistance.
In assisting victims of sexual violence, we have to provide advice that may actually make the victim feel depressed. Sometimes the victim just needs to be heard. If you want to give advice, then ask if they need it or not.
Lastly, transmit courage and resistance to the victim. Not only to encourage victims to undergo access to recovery or respond to the perpetrator’s actions. Tell the victim that sexual harassment is not just a matter of one or two people. But again, as long as they live in a discriminatory environment, everyone can become a perpetrator or a victim. Then the courage of the victims will make an enormous contribution to the future of themselves and other human beings.
Judging the Perpetrator
Everyone has the right to a sense of security and comfort, related to sexual violence. Every circle of friends should have agreed principles to build a friendship affiliation that is safe from all forms of violence through the concept of collective awareness.
Through the concept of collective awareness, if one member of the group becomes the perpetrator, it will not only be kicked out of the group, but also seek access to recovery or rehabilitation so that the perpetrator does not repeat their actions.
First, establish common principles. There are at least three important points that should be underlined in establishing the common principle, namely, that everyone has the right to live free from all forms of violence, both state violence and interpersonal violence. In politics, commitment to the values of struggle is manifested in actions and words, work and life, organizations, and personal relationships.
Along with, foster restorative justice and transformative justice. Restorative justice and transformative justice emerged as criticisms and alternatives to “coercive” justice in the style of the formal legal system and the security forces. Restorative justice focuses on how restoration and improvement can be created in the relationship between perpetrators, survivors, and their communities. Meanwhile, transformative justice is similar to restorative justice but with a rejection of the formal legal system that perpetuates inequality. Transformative justice involves working to build affinity, a long-term network of solidarity.
Handling of Sexual Violence Cases based on Restorative Justice
There are reports of cases of Sexual Violence, and the perpetrator is someone in your organization/your circle of solidarity. Your group wants to establish a justice that restores, not reproduces coercive punishment. What to consider?
1. Handling mechanism. Recognize if your organization has a mechanism for handling reports of sexual violence. Otherwise, then it’s time to build a mechanism as a long-term work agenda.
2. Assistance for survivors. Is there someone to accompany the survivor? Are there any expert assistants accompanying these companion? Survivor safety must be a priority.
3. Circle of Accountability for perpetrators. If actors are willing to take responsibility for shared values, then this process needs to be accompanied by several people to ensure the perpetrator’s commitment to change. This process is built on trust between the actor and the facilitator.
Partisanship is not about who is right and wrong in front of the group. But how can groups support a good process, namely the recovery of survivors and accountability of perpetrators? Groups can create mechanisms and collective agreements to support the operation of both survivors and perpetrators.
