6 STEPS TO ELIMINATING THE NEGATIVES
Self-doubt plagues us all from time to time, but when it starts to dominate our careers, it’s time to take action. Matt Young has developed a six-step strategy for combatting what he describes as “negative self-talk”.
The other day, I read a Tweet from a New York actor along the lines of: “I just had the worst rehearsal − Equity should take my card away.” This is the sort of negative self-talk I have been combatting my whole career. And when I say “combat”, it is a constant battle. As I’ve grown older, instead of becoming more certain of my skill and ability, the imposter voice in my head often sounds louder than ever.
So why do I keep beating myself up and what can I do to stop it? Here is a six-step approach I’ve developed to combat negative self-talk.
1. Recognise the source
Past traumatic experiences can feed negative self-talk. Sometimes we find comfort in the familiar, but if the familiar is a state of constant stress, criticism or feeling under attack, that can lead to negative self-talk. Once we start to recognise the source, we can defend ourselves.
Was it a cruel acting teacher, an overbearing parent, an abusive lover, a chaotic work/university experience or even social media? It only takes one person criticising us once to shake our confidence, but when someone who is important to us puts us down, it can stick.
2. Write it down
No matter how brutal, write down the things your inner critic is telling you. “You’re fat. You’re terrible at memorising. There is no way you’re going to get this job/nail this audition. You’re worthless.” Now that they are on paper, you can work on dismantling them.
3. Say it out loud
Wow, some of your statements really sting! But are they true? Would you say these things to a vulnerable person you love? No? Then why are you saying them to yourself? Is there a pattern? Are you repeating something that has been said by someone who hurt you?
4. Reframe it
Let’s start deconstructing those negatives and turning them into positives. “You’re fat” becomes: “I’m in the body I’m meant to be in.” “You’ll never memorise the lines on time” becomes: “I will successfully memorise those lines.” “You’ll never get that job” becomes: “Someone has to get that job, and it will be me.”
Once you are feeling more empowered, make the statements stronger. “I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am talented. I am successful. I deserve the best. I will succeed, with patience, hard work and perseverance.” These positive statements will become your mantras. Cross out negative self-talk.
5. Move it
Armed with positive self-talk, take your statements for a walk. Repeat them as you move around your space. Take them to the gym, for a bike ride or a swim. Get those endorphins flowing. Connect the physical to the mental.
The next time you find yourself spiralling into a negative self-talk vortex, remind yourself to move. Stand up. Jump. Squat. Or just tap your wrist. And repeat your positive mantras.
6. See a professional
Is it working? Still feeling defeated? Not able to counter the negative self-talk? Perhaps it’s time to consult a professional. Visit your GP and tell them how you feel. Call a helpline. See a therapist. Don’t be afraid to ask for professional mental health assistance. You are not alone.
For more great resources and tips, follow the Entertainment Wellness Committee on Facebook or Instagram.
Matt Young is an actor and acting coach living in regional Queensland and a member of the Entertainment Wellness Committee. He is the founder of Tukuna Acting Club, which provides training for diverse Australian actors. In 2021, he was accredited as a Standard Mental Health First Aider by Mental Health First Aid Australia.
