BUILDING RESILIENCE IN THE FACE OF REJECTION
As actors, one of our greatest challenges is maintaining artistic identity, while at the same time taking care of our mental health. But, writes Sarah Moon, by separating our personal and professional lives, we can build self-esteem and bring inner peace. This, in turn, will help us cope with the reality of rejection.
The creative arts industry is a contradiction: it requires extreme strength, yet artists are among the most vulnerable and sensitive members of society. In essence, the creative type is like a sponge, absorbing everything (whether consciously or not) and feeling deeply. This sensitivity to the world around us is the very thing that causes us to feel rejection so intimately. Still, rejection is inevitable, and here’s where the artist is in danger of crumbling.
I’ve been in the industry for nearly six years. Prior to that, I was acting within the cosy confines of drama school, where the reality of the industry was not really discussed and opportunities were abundant, because it was the school’s job to have us cast in numerous, diverse roles that would cease the moment we graduated. My confidence soared, and inspiration was plentiful.
In my experience, this is how most actors start out. We begin with the notion of possibility, excited to share our work with the world and, hopefully, be accepted among the great. Then we are met with harsh reality. For many of us, the confidence and inspiration we begin with gets chipped away, to be replaced with anxiety, depression, frustration and doubt. Some of us persevere, but the vast majority drop off, too beaten down to continue.
How can more of us persevere, maintaining both our artistic identity and our mental health, despite the challenges of the industry?
WHO ARE YOU DOING IT FOR? Be honest with yourself about a few things: why do you act/create; what’s the payoff you’re hoping for; what do you truly envisage as the ultimate outcome − fulfilment or fame?
There is a common thread among artists to feel like the outsider. The very crux of our creativity − uniqueness and heightened sensitivity − seems to also alienate us from others. Left unchecked, this causes a deep-rooted feeling of inadequacy, and the artist becomes driven by a need to prove themself for fear of being cast out completely. This is where the mental health of the creative truly suffers, for our work becomes compromised. It is no longer about the work itself, but a need for validation from our peers and wider society.
The industry becomes dangerous for the creative who is in it for love and acceptance, as the inevitable rejection becomes highly personal, and any setbacks are perceived as evidence of one’s inadequacy. The individual’s worth becomes intimately tied in with their work, and the pain of continual rejection and failed expectations becomes unbearable.
Decide to do it for yourself − for personal fulfilment only.
Yes, art is meant to be received, not just performed, but consider the subjectivity: you cannot please everybody, and you cannot be certain how your work will be perceived. At the end of the day, you are the only person who truly reaps the consequences of the life you create for yourself. Therefore, you might as well perform for yourself, for your own joy and sense of satisfaction. If it doesn’t evoke joy, then why do it?
SEPARATE YOUR WORTH FROM YOUR WORK The creative cannot allow their worth to be defined by their work as an artist. The creative arts are highly subjective, and when we place our self-worth on the same pedestal as our creative work, open to evaluation, we make ourselves vulnerable to a plethora of feedback that then becomes pointed at who we are.
Create duality, in the same way that a waiter or surgeon might learn to separate their personal and work life. Before every professional application, audition or performance, remind yourself that you are not up for evaluation as a person. Your personal life is comprised of you knowing your intrinsic self-worth, despite the success of your career. Meanwhile, your work is just that − work.
SORT OUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE The stereotype of the ‘suffering artist’ is nonsense. Artists who remain ignorant of their inner turmoil only attract greater hardship, while mental instability creates inconsistency and a weakening of authentic self-expression. Understand that you can have both mental health and a prolific career. Healing your wounds won’t take away your creativity. Self-awareness and clarity of thought actually increase an artist’s ability to consistently create impactful work.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to build a strong foundation − a sense of inner peace and rock-solid self-esteem.
Practically, this means doing the inner work − face your demons and seek help. Never underestimate the power of therapy, even if you feel you don’t need it. Talk about your feelings with other artists, most of whom will have experienced similar things. Have good self-care practices that you can do every day to give your life structure, such as meditation, journaling or exercise. Small daily habits will help you to cultivate self-trust and self-acceptance, strengthening your inner foundation. Finally, work on making your personal life fulfilling. Spend time with loved ones and take up hobbies unrelated to your creative pursuit.
While external circumstances − including, to some extent, the success of your career − are not within your control, you do have mastery over your inner world, so start there. This is how you empower yourself as a creative. The stronger your inner world, the more resilient you’ll become, the more faith in yourself you’ll foster and the less susceptible you’ll be to feelings of rejection.
Sarah Moon is a Sydney-based actor, writer and holistic empowerment coach with a BA (Hons) Acting from The Kogan Academy of Dramatic Arts (London) and a Diploma in Holistic Counselling (IMTTA). She is the founder of Moonlight, a blog that aims to shed light on human issues, connecting people via honest storytelling. You can connect with her and find additional resources via Facebook (‘Moonlight by Sarah Moon’), via a free Facebook group called ‘Self-Empowerment For Actors & Creatives’ or on her website sarahmoon.space
