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Does My Fear for Death Exist? — Fear for Death Is My Psyche
I have to live with it. Or do I have to do something about it?
With the pandemic still going on, Germany would be the best option to go on holiday. Germany is also one of my ultimate countries to go on holidays. The decision I made: I booked two holiday destinations in Germany. I booked holiday homes in the Eiffel, Germany. In the mountain, I could walk there. The mountains here are not high enough as my husband wants. Also, I could walk through small villages to see their beauty. I love that. I was beyond excited to go on holiday.
I am excited. Yes, I was. There got a bumper.
At the beginning of July, I got a message that my first holiday destination. It got cancelled because of the floods in Germany. In the first place, I thought this holiday home wouldn’t be affected. There was damage. The damage was there too. The owners of the holiday home have informed all tenants that they could not come.
I was sad. I am devastated. Still, I understood the situation. I followed the news every day, in The Netherland as well as in Germany. Somehow, I felt what they felt.
What now? I had to sink in the news. ‘It is not bad,’ I told myself. There are lots of holiday homes we can rent.
In the middle of July, the corona measurements were strict again. Germany didn’t want Dutch citizens in their country.
Again, we had to cancel our second holiday destination. There was another disappointment I had to deal with, and I was sad. Again. What to do next?
No holidays; children sad, mother sad and our moods were below zero. The children went outside to play to cool down a little bit. I was bubbling with anger, fears and disappointments. Still, I managed to hold them inside to get back together with what important was.
I need to book something else. Where do I want to go on holiday? Something else? D I need to go out of my comfort zone? I was afraid we couldn’t go anymore. It was like on a dead end. I don’t want to disappoint my children. What do I tell them if the holidays can’t take place? Are they my fears?
