How To Find A Non-Judgy Therapist If You’re A Queer Kinky Beautiful Weirdo
By H.D. Roslin
Marginalized people are accustomed to therapists saying they’re broken, sick, or wrong. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Embarking upon an adventure in therapy is already pretty hard work. But it can be especially hard if you’re a weirdo, like I am. As a bisexual cis-femme who is ethically non-monogamous and kink-identified, it’s not easy to find a mental-health practitioner. Add in the fact that I’m in my twelfth year of recovery from a violent sexual assault, grew up with a severely dysfunctional and disordered parent, and had my first suicide attempt when I was 12, and things become even more complicated.
I’ve been lucky to work with so many wonderful professionals. But I’ve also walked out on therapists who have asked questions like, “What responsibility do you feel you had for your rape?” and, “Do you think your non-monogamy stems from a place of unworthiness of real love?” and the ever-popular, “Are you bisexual, or do you just have dysfunctional standards for who you sleep with?”
Folks who fall outside of social norms by choice, birth, or biology often find themselves wondering if the therapist they can afford will try and “fix” their…
