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Letter sent on Dec 13, 2017

All the tingles and tinsel

THIS WEEK’S WONDERFUL NEWSLETTER BROUGHT TO YOU BY

Pleasure with a purpose.

DID YOU GET YOUR TICKETS YET?!

WE’RE THROWING A STORYTELLING PARTY!

TOMORROW. 7 PM. SAN FRANCISCO.

COME MEET US AT HOLIDAZE!

Do you have anxiety dreams?

Boy oh boy I do.

Some are pseudo recurring — my brain likes to trot out the classics like loose teeth, being naked in public, and standing on stage waiting to perform lines I’ve never learned — but it also has some special visions all its own.

In addition to pulling long worms from my mouth where their tails are down down down my throat and I just keep pulling, pulling, pulling, I also have anxiety dreams about tattoos.

I think — in a quick and dirty psychoanalysis of myself — that this is a very direct commentary on my fear of permanency.

I can barely wear the same sweater two days in a row so the idea of living in one house for 45 years or a lotus blossom on my back is just about inconceivable.

It fills me with dread.

But recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how to lance these psychological blisters — how do I conquer all this anxiety without quaffing valium or becoming a yoga teacher because let’s be honest my “spiritual life” is basically
a howling void.

I started thinking compulsively about the phrase, “this too shall pass.”

Every joy is fleeting so let it fill your goddamn heart. Every sorrow is fleeting so don’t let it consume your goddamn heart.

It’s the most beautiful framing I’ve ever found for my brand of nihilism which is, essentially, nothing matters so EVERYTHING MATTERS.

Finally I had thought about it so much I told my best friend Andrew who knows all too well about my tattoo phobia and he said…

“That’s so weird. That’s actually a parable in the Mars book I’m reading right now.”

So I looked it up. And basically? A king (sometimes King Soloman) asks his advisors for a ring that will make him happy when he is sad, and sad when he is happy.

And they bring him a simple gold ring engraved with, “This too shall pass.”

And I think I might give myself that same strange gift this year.

But engraved on my own body.

With love + rage,
Katie Tandy
Co-founder | Creative Director

When We Body-Shame Sexual Abusers

By Suzannah Weiss

Instead of discounting what sexual abusers have done or making excuses for them — President Trump’s open support of Roy Moore stands out as an egregious anomaly right now — people are finally holding some of these men, as well as the deeply embedded patriarchy that supports them, accountable.

What’s not as heartening or progressive is the way they’re gleaning that accountability, however.

As long as we keep acting like sexual abuse is wrong because the abuser is physically unattractive or sexually deviant, abusers deemed attractive and “normal” will get away with it.

Bad Advice On Judging Your Friend’s Gross, Slutty Instagram Photos

By The Bad Advisor

Do warn her that if she continues this little online charade, she may diminish your camaraderie — and with it, her access to the invaluable aesthetic judgments that you, duly credentialed as a man, so graciously offer her.

If this young lady recoils at your suggestion that she modify her comportment, take heart! Allow her to take her appalling judgment and offensive visage elsewhere, leaving you to all that you deserve as a man of your disposition.

Science Made Sexy

Our sense of pleasure is as unique as we are — as unique as snowflakes! — from foreplay and fingering to how we experience orgasms.

For instance!

What do a volcano, wave, and mountain have in common?

They’re orgasm patterns!

Explore the newest insights in female sexuality with Lioness.

The Lioness Vibrator uses unique data and technology never. before. seen. outside of research labs to support self-experimentation, leading to better sex.

And that’s something we could stuff our stockings with or thank Hashem for.

Lioness can help you discover things you never knew about your own body — what you like, dislike, and would like …
(a lot!) but don’t know it yet.

You can get yours by 12/25 if you order before the end of this week!

Check it out here.

Why We Need To Talk About Queer And Trans People And Birth Control

By Neesha Powell

Trans, gender nonbinary,and queer folks experience barriers to culturally-competent reproductive healthcare because most doctors don’t understand our bodies or our sex lives. Legislative attacks on birth control make it even harder for us to get the good care we deserve.

One of Trump’s most recent attacks on reproductive healthcare happened on Oct. 6, when the Department of Health and Human Services issued new rulesthat allow employers to opt out of covering birth control on their health insurance plans based on moral or religious reasons.

Strict Alcohol Policies At Holiday Parties Won’t Protect Women

By Erin Gee, Erica Ifill, and Bailey Reed

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, human resources departments — not wanting to join the deluge of companies firing people for allegations of sexual violence — are reconsidering their policies around drinking.

As such, the 2017 holiday party circuit might seemdifferent this year — a little more formal, slightly stuffier, and probably a lot drier (in both conversations and libations).

Limiting alcohol consumption to protect against sexual abuse might seem reasonable and well-intentioned. In reality, it contributes to the rape culture that puts so many people at risk of assault in the first place.

Bitter Holiday Horoscopes To Warm Your Icy Heart

By Alison Stevenson

GEMINI

Going home for the holidays is especially hard for you because your brother is so much more well-adjusted than you are. Unlike you, he is able to commit to one woman and they are very happily in love.

You see that this love is real. You see that it’s possible.

Yet, you still choose to send me paragraphs and paragraphs of texts about men’s “biological need” to sleep with as many women as possible, because that’s what the cavemen did, while at the same time insisting that monogamy is “archaic.”

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