An Open Letter To Those Praising The New York Times ‘Tomboy’ Piece
Why do we need to have a conversation about the harms of gender norms that does so through the lens of affirming one’s not-trans-ness?
Dear NYT reader:
Yesterday, the New York Times ran a piece entitled “My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy.” I saw the title and wanted to avoid it but then I saw people praising it and celebrating the need to reclaim “girlness” from the over-correction of trans-affirmation. I was troubled. I was curious. I dug in.
I can see why, on a cursory read, the piece might have some appeal. The gender binary is a force of patriarchy and white supremacy. It harms people, particularly people of color, people with disabilities, women (cis and trans), non-binary people, trans people. The piece wanted to offer a critique of expectations of gender, I think. And those who praised it probably did so for a range of reasons. Many, like me, were probably gender non-conforming children themselves who remember being misgendered in childhood like the subject of the article, the author’s child. Many others…
