Bad Advice On Fighting Over Politics And Play-Acting Gender Roles
By The Bad Advisor
Welcome to our latest Bad Advice column! Stay tuned every Tuesday for more terrible guidance based on actual letters.
“We host an annual reunion for my husband’s family. His brother, an avid runner, has a voracious appetite. When he comes, he finishes almost everything we put out. Once, he ate five servings of salmon for lunch! My husband prefers that we simply count him as three people when we prepare food for the party. I would rather speak to him. Is it proper to comment on his intake?”
— From “Anonymous” via Social Q’s, New York Times, 3 August 2017
Dear Anonymous,
There can be no greater insult than the voracious consumption of one’s cuisinical hospitality. It is not only proper to evaluate and comment on the food intake of other humans, it is imperative that you do so, lest other humans continue to consume an amount of food that you, the world’s grand arbiter of caloric intake, deem inappropriate. You and you alone are the objective judge of the correct amount of food other people should eat, and only a thorough dressing-down about eating habits can save people like your brother-in-law from the cruel fate that otherwise awaits…
