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As A Trans Woman, I’ve Seen Nerd Culture’s Misogyny From Both Sides

Hexadecim8
The Establishment
Published in
9 min readFeb 27, 2017

People thought my nerdy interests would change. They didn’t—but my relationship with them did.

II n June of 2015 I picked up the phone and dialed my old friend Rick’s number, guided by the muscle memory of having done it so many times before. This time, the topic wouldn’t be our excitement over the new Dungeon Master’s guide or some neat piece of esoterica we had learned in Mr. Zebracki’s history class. This discussion would be much more abstract.

“I have something to tell you, Rick,” I began. “I realized recently that I’m transgender, and I’m planning on transitioning genders at some point in the next year or so, so that I can live my life a little more honestly.”

After a moment of silence, Rick said exactly what I was hoping to hear: “You’re one of my oldest friends. If that’s what you think you need to do, of course I support it, and I’ll help you however you need me to.” But he also had some questions: Would I still play video games? Would I still like Star Wars?

My friend had some questions: Would I still…

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The Establishment
The Establishment

Published in The Establishment

The archives of culture + politics site, The Establishment. Media funded and founded by women — Nikki Gloudeman, Kelley Calkins and Katie Tandy with Ijeoma Oluo, Ruchika Tulshyan and Jessica Sutherland. The conversation is much more interesting when everyone has a voice.

Hexadecim8
Hexadecim8

Written by Hexadecim8

Follow her on twitter: @hexadecim8