Donald Trump Rates Classic Artwork

Adapted from Wikimedia Commons and flickr/DonkeyHotey
Finally, an art critic we can trust.

Venus of Willendorf

Red ochre paint? What is it, blood coming out of her wherever?

Rating: 1/10

Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli

How am I supposed to grab her by the pussy if she’s covering it up?

Rating: 8/10

Aphrodite of Knidos by Praxiteles

It must be a pretty picture. Venus Pudica dropping to her knee.

Rating: 9/10

Judith Beheading Holofernes by Caravaggio

Look, I’m a huge fan of women, HUGE, no one respects women more than me, but women who decapitate the master who enslaved them have to be punished.

Rating: 3/10

Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci

Look at that face, why would anybody want to paint that?

Rating: 2/10

Girl with a Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer

I’m going to be dating her in 10 years.

Rating: 10/10

Louise Nursing Her Child by Mary Cassatt


Rating: 0/10

Les Demoiselles d’Avignon by Pablo Picasso

The faces of dogs!

Rating: 4/10

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