How ‘Autism Warrior Parents’ Harm Autistic Kids

Autistic people, like anyone else with a disability, function best when given appropriate accommodations.

Parenting approaches differ, but mostly, everything we consider “good parenting” fulfills two basic needs: It makes children feel safe, and it makes them feel loved. Parents and non-parents alike tend to scorn any parenting approach that doesn’t meet these goals. That is, unless the kids in question are autistic — in which case parents are too often encouraged to pursue approaches that traumatize and alienate their kids. I call these parents “Autism Warrior Parents,” and people caring for autistic children can learn a lot from their mistakes.

Autism Warrior Parents (AWPs) insist on supporting their autistic kids either by trying to cure them, or by imposing non-autistic-oriented goals on them — rather than by trying to understand how their kids are wired, and how that wiring affects their life experience. Ironically, an AWP’s choices not only interfere with their own kid’s happiness and security, but contribute to social biases that prevent autistic people of all ages from getting the supports they need. Worst of all, by publicly rejecting their own children’s autism and agency, and by tending to hog the autism spotlight, AWPs are partially responsible for the…