How To Look Like The Joker And Harley Quinn

Welcome to Make Your Face, a makeup tutorial series with a simple mission: makeup by you (me) for your (my) own entertainment, Establishment-style.

Re: the Joker — I have a serious mixed bag of feelings. First up, why do the dudes entrusted with his portrayal so often take him so agonizingly seriously? Like, sending a dead pig to your co-stars? Seriously, Jared Leto? That’s . . . not funny. Or even particularly scary! Just gross, and kind of pathetic. And I’ve never bothered to read the Joker’s infamous origin story, “The Killing Joke,” because I know what happens in it — namely the vicious sexual assault and shooting of Batgirl — and it’s just not something I can bring myself to give half a shit about. Male creators depicting female brutalization in order to titillate an audience of presumed male consumers is so played; it’s schlocky and pedestrian.

I love the Joker as voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson on The Batman cartoon, though! He has this whimsical sense of glee that makes me root for his visions of chaos, and I absolutely adore his relationship with Dr. Harleen Quinzel, which is charming, menacing, mutually beneficial, and most importantly, funny! Anyway, people try to pull violent nasty stuff on Batman and his loved ones literally all the time — it’s the occupation of at least half the population of Gotham City. The real triumph for Joker would be to make Mr. Pouty Pants Grim-Dark Batbaby laugh, even just once! That guy’s a billionaire with a killer car, a cool costume, a secret hideout full of gadgets, and an absurdly devoted butler — but he has absolutely no sense of humor. It’s tragic.

Also tragic: why isn’t Margot Robbie, who is clearly the star of Suicide Squad, playing the Joker instead of Harley Quinn? THAT’s a movie I’d be excited to see. That’s a characterization I’d like to BE! For an evening, anyhow, temporari . . . ly.

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Eyeliner:

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Shadow:

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Clown makeup.

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Lashes!

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Blush:

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Recruit an accomplice!

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Appease the hyenas.

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Make over your beautiful sidekick in your own magnificent image.

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(You will notice, probably, when the transformation begins to take hold.)

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Villainy is more fun with a buddy!

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Basic henchmen are for low-level baddies with no friends.

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BEHOLD!!!

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The problem with accomplices, as opposed to groveling intimidated goons, is that they feel entitled to mirror space. Hard to blame my Harley for admiring himself, however. ♥

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And now, my darling, it’s time we had a night on the town! We’ll fumigate the city with laughing gas, or go walk the dogs at the park and scare some teenagers playing Pokémon Go. Either way, I’m a contented demented clown. Everything is funnier when I’m with you!

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