How To Make Your Face Look Like Love Incarnate

Welcome to Make Your Face, a makeup tutorial series with a simple mission: makeup by you (me) for your (my) own entertainment, Establishment-style.

AAAAAAHHHHHH, Allison’s own little wolves posed with her for a recreation of last week’s look and this is the best thing I’ve ever seen:


Moving on.

Valentine’s Day is the BEST and GREATEST holiday that exists (after Halloween, obviously). February 14 is a day to celebrate love, and to celebrate friendship! In observance of this, the most sentimental of holidays, I bade farewell to my beloved husband and left him alone to take care of our menagerie of animals in a blizzard while I traveled to Florida to spend Valentine’s Day with my friends who live in Miami.

And then (!) I proceeded to ignore my friends and spend the day putting makeup on my face in their kitchen, because MOST IMPORTANTLY, Valentine’s Day is a day to recklessly mix clashing shades of red and pink and to draw hearts on your face!

’Tis the reason for the season! Let us celebrate.

First, look at this view. Look at this lighting! Damn, Miami; damn.


Then sit down at the kitchen table and rub some pale pink eyeshadow on your eyelids.


Put several coats of mascara on your lashes, top and bottom.


Use your eyeshadow as blush. LOAD IT ON.


Draw a heart on/over your lips with an eyeliner brush and red lipstick. It will take forever. It will look wonky and infuriate you. It will only look right when viewed from the perfect angle. But hey!


It’s all worth it, because look at you!! Your lips are a ♥!


But maybe you aren’t feeling a pale eye and sweetheart lip. Maybe pale pink grosses you out. Maybe you want to warn would-be suitors to beware! Maybe just looking like a gothy badass is your thing, girl, and I am so here for that. Load up a brush with red shadow and go to town.


Then, with a small brush, allow the darkness that usually dwells deep within your soul to manifest itself beneath your lower lashes.


Use some black eyeliner — liquid, pencil, or both, according to your (my!) preference — to draw skinny vertical lines down your cheeks beneath each eye. Draw a tiny black heart at the end of each line.


Then, put on your most eye-gouging shade of fuchsia lip product and lurk behind a curtain. No mortal will dare approach you without invitation.


But MAYBE! Maybe you just found the most vibrant neon pink makeup product you’ve ever seen in your life in your friends’ bathroom. You can’t let an opportunity like this slip through your eyeshadow-covered fingertips.


Put some purple shadow in the creases of your eyelids, and then blend outward with red.


Add mascara, then a ton of blush in your preferred color to your cheeks to help balance the intensity of your eyes. Put red lipstick on your top lip, then smush your lips together and blend the pigment to the edges of your bottom lip with a finger. THEN, put a big ol’ dot of the bright bright pink on your nose and draw a heart around it with eyeliner.


Pat some of the !!PINK!! onto your bottom lip.


You’re ready. You are READY for V-Day now, dude!


Have a marvelous Valentine’s Day, you beauties! Appreciate your loved ones. ♥

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