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The Stories Of Male Sexual Assault Survivors Need To Be Heard

Alex Blank Millard
The Establishment
Published in
11 min readJan 20, 2016
Unsplash/James Garcia

Not giving someone who has been attacked the space to heal is dangerous for us all.

Content Warning: Sexual Violence

“If you call yourself a victim, you’re acknowledging that something happened to you that you couldn’t control. You couldn’t defend yourself or fight back. Men grow up being told we’re supposed to be tough, we’re supposed to be masculine and self-sufficient, we should be able to defend ourselves and others. My father was teaching me how to fight before I was being taught to read.”

- Writer, Santino Hassell

According to RAINN, 1 in 33 men has experienced assault or rape in his lifetime. Research by the CDC conducted in 2011 revealed that about 23% of men had experienced a form of sexual violence other than rape in his life. This means it’s likely that most of us know a man who’s been abused or attacked. And yet, “Very few men speak publicly about sexual assault, largely from shame or the popular perception that it is a ‘women’s issue,’” intersectional justice activist AbsurdistWords explains to me. He adds:

“There is a common sentiment that ‘victim’ is an insult. It is used to describe a state of perpetual weakness of character and self-perceived subjugation. In essence…

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The Establishment
The Establishment

Published in The Establishment

The archives of culture + politics site, The Establishment. Media funded and founded by women — Nikki Gloudeman, Kelley Calkins and Katie Tandy with Ijeoma Oluo, Ruchika Tulshyan and Jessica Sutherland. The conversation is much more interesting when everyone has a voice.

Alex Blank Millard
Alex Blank Millard

Written by Alex Blank Millard

I'm a writer and a social media consultant. I live in Philly with my partners, my pets, and my baby.