My Feminism Won’t Let Me Fuck Men Right Now

It’s not you. It’s the collective you.

A s a queer woman, a slut, a lady who honestly doesn’t know how many people she’s slept with, I never thought I’d find myself in this situation.

I used to rhapsodize about penises. I have always desired sex with people on the entire spectrum of genders, and a month ago the thought of a cis dude’s big dick in my mouth would have gotten me hot AF. But it turns out my unlimited generosity toward the genitals of those who identify as the so-called weaker sex is yet another casualty of the American electoral system.

The very idea of making a cis man feel pleasure is so unappealing to me right now that I can’t even muster up the energy to try. I slutted it up real hard for all of October and even had some pretty great “we’re drunk and in shock and just trying to feel something” sex on election night, but now those guys are hitting me up with their justifiable thirst and I don’t know how to explain to them that I want to be friends and maybe make out and if they want to put their fingers inside me and make me cum that might be okay, but I’m in no goddamn mood to reciprocate.

It’s not you, it’s the collective you.

Sure, yeah, partly I’ve been less horny just because of the general depressive state I exist in these days, but there are so many women I would fuck and only one, maybe two dudes—and those just because we’re friends and I care about them enough to look past their gender, plus they’ve proven to be great at giving head. I mean, if you’re a lady out there wanting to hit this, now is the time. Get at me. Let’s use the manifested power of our orgasms to cast spells and destroy the patriarchy and also, you know, feel great.

Let’s use the manifested power of our orgasms to cast spells and destroy the patriarchy.

It’s just, like, simply looking at a man’s penis bums me out, much less getting it hard and warm and making it feel nice. Your boner is a symbol of a world that is trying to destroy me and I don’t want it inside me. Oh, does that suck for you? I don’t care. Another side effect of this nightmare is that I just don’t care about men’s feelings anymore. Oh lord, for so long I have cared about men’s feelings, men who clearly never gave my mental wellness and emotional comfort a second thought. I have put an absurd amount of energy into coddling their egos and emotions, wanting to be thought of as kind and beautiful and a perfect paragon of generous femininity. Well guess what buttercup, them golden days are gone. Oh, there are men I love and who I want to be happy, but mostly I don’t care what you think of me and I don’t care if your feelings are hurt because right now I’m saving my kindness and consideration for the ladies who I know need it most.

Okay, yes, I recognize that men of color and queer men are suffering and endangered too, I’m not unsympathetic to that. But — and I’ve tried reasoning with her — my pussy just can’t be made to give a shit. The prospect of unparalleled dehumanization and destruction of feminist liberties and socially-normalized assault on our bodies is just so WAY unsexy. Pretty much the least sexy thing I can imagine is being forced to bury aborted fetuses, yet here were are, that’s a thing now, and you know who did that thing? Cis men who are trying to maintain even the smallest, most bitter modicums of control they can.

The prospect of unparalleled dehumanization is WAY unsexy.

And since I also find the justice system and state-sanctioned murder and income inequality to be turn-offs, as a white person, if people of color don’t wanna be boning me anymore because of what my whiteness and privilege represent to them on an inherent, instinctual level, I totally get it.

Here’s what I am looking for from men right now: silence. Be an ally by lifting up women’s voices and helping us be heard. Make an effort to stop putting your needs first. So I don’t want to fuck you? Try asking what I do want. Tell me it’s okay if I “friend-zone” you because what women really need right now are friends. Treat me like a goddamn person. I hope for everyone’s sake that my desire for men will return eventually, but that kind of depends on how much work y’all are willing to put in. Join our army and admit that we’re the generals. Help me burn this whole apocalyptic wasteland to the ground and stick it to The Man and destroy the corrupted masculine fabric of society that got us into this fucking hellscape to begin with — a hellscape where, I’ll remind you, scores of beautiful women won’t suck your dick simply because you have one.

And maybe, just maybe, if you can manage that, I’ll let you watch me make a woman cum, and even promise not to hex you afterwards.

A version of this story previously appeared on Morpheus. Reprinted here with permission.

Like what you read? Give Eloise LeBel a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.

The author has chosen not to show responses on this story. You can still respond by clicking the response bubble.