Online Dating Is Basically Kissing Frogs On Every Level

Bonjour dear readers (and listeners)!

Welcome to this week’s “Spare Parts” Quickiesode, where you get all the tasty outtakes from last week’s Unscrewed podcast episode — “(Don’t) Burn It To The Ground” — as well as listener quandaries and killer advice, all in 15 minutes or less.

This week your ears will get:

  1. Listener Amanda, who offered advice for Listener K in response to our last quickiesode — “Blue Clit Blues” — volunteering her own tactics for tackling excess sexual energy. She too struggles to focus on anything but the pending satisfaction of her nether-bits, but has also found a few ways to cope.
  2. A bonus outtake from last week’s guest Aida Manduley on the importance of sexual communication that started off with — say what?! — Jaclyn being sorted into a certain Harry Potter House.
  3. Killer advice from Wagatwe Sara Wanjuki — activist, writer, and co-author of Establishment dating series #ItsTotallyMe. Wagatwe offers up incredible insight and empathy to Listener A, who asks:
“. . . I have the short-term goal of seeking a casual partner that I can tolerate . . . and the longer term goal is to eventually someday find a partner. While I’d like to make this explicitly clear on my profile — ‘Feminist seeking casual sex with like-minded sex-positive people’ — unfortunately simply having a profile means you’re going to have unwanted messages, let alone putting it out there you want casual sex, which will result in getting the wrong kind of people responding to your profile. Not to mention if you’re in a smaller town it might not be something you want to highlight in the event someone you don’t want to know this comes across your profile. All this is to say I guess I’m wondering how someone navigates this new way of meeting people without exposing yourself too quickly but also not wasting anyone’s time including your own . . . “

Don’t miss out on Wagatwe’s expert (and quite possibly very relevant) advice!


Get yer own Harry Potter identity sorted out here. And check out our interview with the amazing founder of feminist dating app Siren, which Wagatwe recommends.

Have burning questions of your own? Tweet @jaclynf (use #Unscrewed) or drop her a line at And yes! You can even use your handy-dandy smartphone, personal computer, or laptop and record yourself asking your question; she may just include it in the next episode.


Lead image credit: flickr/ writingortyping

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