Purging the demons…
My father is a raconteur, a wasp-cum-bohemian who wasn’t too keen on day jobs. He was forever and always working onprojects, which led us up and down the eastern seaboard; by the time I was in 6th grade we had lived in four states and seven houses.
This is all to say that I don’t have too many friends from my childhood; I basically have one from that era. We met playing in the soccer fields behind our house when she was 9 and I was 12.
We swiftly became inseparable — intense in our affection for one another, the local orchard, super Nintendo, and fervid masturbation — but soon I went to boarding school, then college, then moved abroad and so on and so forth. We never phoned or emailed, but saw each other whenever we could; our heartstrings tugged wherever we moved and we knew the other felt it.
I just saw her for the first time in three years; I think we chatted for 10 hours straight on Monday as we hiked through the dusty hills of Moraga, California.
She’s always been more “woo woo” than me (that’s how she describes her intense spirituality) and she’s recently gotten into doing ayahuasca ceremonies. She described the intense purgings — the black vomit imbued with personal demons expelled from your body as the medicine works its magic. She described the tears running down her face. She described the elation in the wake of 8 hours of exhausting, existential shit-wrestling.
As she described it, I felt a knot growing in my stomach. “I think I would literally vomit a waterfall, a fucking dragon of black viscous goo that would burst from my belly and burn the entire room to the ground…they’re not ready for this kind of purge.”
I laughed, she laughed, but we both knew what I meant.
I realized I need to dig in and sort through some shit. Soon. What are you doing to purge your own demons? How are you banishing — or gently coaxing — your own miserable dragon that paces the cage of your ribs?
With love + rage,
Co-founder | Creative Director
You could buy that $5 pumpkin chai
(and goddamn is it delicious)
— OR —
you could support diverse media
for an entire. month.
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We don’t discuss it again for three years.
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