‘She’s A Good-Looking Girl, Until You Look Close’
Happy Saturday, dear Establishers — pull up a chair and rest your weary bones.
This week’s vintage video is sure to ease your post-work body — your low morale-deadened eyes, your stiff creaking shoulders, and that nebulous, blinking-cursor-induced anxiety.
But trust us — there are few things more relaxing than some good ‘ol fashioned sexism from the ’70s. Feel your heart-rate drop, your stress headache dissolve, your sphincters release. Let the absurdity wash over you like a warm bath.
It starts off with a little fear-mongering: “Some people who don’t worry about Dandruff ought to.”
What follows is the humiliating life of Joan, who despite having no dandruff I can perceive (using my eyes) is continually plagued by the floating thought bubbles of strangers who are disgusted by her very disgusting dandruff. Why this dandruff is invisible to Pam is hard to say. Perhaps she has an eye condition (like me I suppose?) or is unable to see her own reflection because she’s a vampire? The world may never know.
But for those of you who’ve been eliciting repulsed glances from passerby and perhaps even fledgling paramours . . . perhaps you should check to see if your shoulders are covered in small piles of white dust. That’s called dandruff and it makes everyone feel very awkward.
This chilling hygiene revelation may momentarily increase your anxiety . . . but ultimately will reduce it. You’re welcome.