The beasts on your back…

I’m baaaaaaackkkkkk.

And oh, how I’ve missed you and this glowing white rectangle; the slender blinking black cursor beckons like a siren song.

This is my first week back after a three-month hiatus. I traveled alone for most of it, traversing streets and shores and silences that were terrifying and perfect in the loneliness they inspired in me.

And I mean loneliness not in the sensation of having no friends or feeling misunderstood, but in the sense that I Katie Tandy — as a human possessing a vast interior landscape — was isolated and unexplored.

I’ve always hated being alone — literally and metaphysically it’s always filled me with dread. I’ve always believed I was terrible company — my mind, given half a chance, will race to the brink of depravity. It has a particular penchant for the smell of my brother’s tweed coat as we stand at my mother’s graveside in a bitter February wind.

(She is still alive by the way.)

This is all to say that I was forced again and again to confront myself and yowl in the face of the demons who’ve licked and gnashed, and snapped at my heels for ages.

And those demons — crimson-faced and ravenous and toothy and grinning — weren’t so bad in the end. Like feral dogs, I kept offering my hand even as they snarled and raised their wretched hackles — until I felt their warm muzzle find my palms and we all rested for a while.

I feel calmer. Healthier. Dare-I-say a bit centered?!

I feel ready to dig back in with you and if you need someone to yowl with, if you’ve got beasts on your back you need help banishing, I’m here for it. And so is The Establishment.

So let us know. Ever and always.

With love + rage, Katie Tandy Co-founder | Creative Director

When Talking About Money Is Taboo, Domestic Abuse Thrives

By Devon Delfino

“He waited till the night of a snowstorm and decided to shut off the heat and electricity. Her kids were in the next room saying, ‘are we poor now?’ [The house] was still in his name and he thought that would be a riot,” she says.

“He wasn’t necessarily withholding or hiding money from her, but he was financially abusive. And the way he made her feel, and the way he made her kids feel about her… It was one of the worst nights of her entire life.”

How Targeted Marketing Harms Those Who’ve Miscarried

By Kim McAuliffe

What I haven’t written about until now was how shortly after the second miscarriage I got a physical package in the mail from Similac with formula samples and other crap.

It seemed so random — until I realized Similac had obtained from the app not only my email address, but my projected due date from the first pregnancy.

I was getting this formula right when I should have had a newborn in my arms. I was so hurt by this unexpected reminder, it sent me back into a morass of dark thoughts I had only just started to escape.

Can An Intimate Wearable Change The Conversation Around Painful Sex?

By Nicole Guappone

“There are a lot of trans women with neo-vaginas,” says Ohnut founder Emily Sauer, “who go through a lot of different dilator therapies in order to maintain the elasticity of their new vaginal canal.”

“Ohnut can be helpful for pain with deeper penetration in this instance as well. [It was] designed with all bodies in mind.”

Sauer says Ohnut is already setting up feedback channels to gauge the product’s efficacy for trans women and for anal use.

Sex, Periods, Body Hair: No Topic Is Too Taboo For These Indian Female Comedians

By Yasaswini Sampathkumar

In December 2016, Amazon launched Prime Video in India and signed up 14 stand-up comedians to create original content for their platform. When a talk show host asked a panel of comedians about the complete absence of women in the line-up, the men suggested that it was simply a result of women not having one hour of content.

In 2017, India had more than 300 million smartphone connections and over 80 million users for video-streaming applications. The market was valued at $280 million in December 2017.

This proliferation of smartphone usage has been a boon to women in particular, providing them the autonomy and privacy they often need to access boundary-pushing comedy online. And that comedy, in turn, is expanding at an exhilarating rate.

What I Learned About Shame When I Ran For Office — And Won

By Emily Anderson

When a local candidate recruitment committee asked me to run, I hesitated. I worried running for office would take a lot of time (it did). I worried that if I became a public figure, I would face sexism (I did). I worried that people might say mean things about me (some did).

So, I said no.

Then the committee asked me again. They told me that the average woman has to be asked seven times to run for office (the average man? less than once). That’s what changed my mind.

It’s painful to live with the pretense of democracy, yet feel that your voice doesn’t matter.

The Establishment

The conversation is much more interesting when everyone has a voice. Media funded and run by women; new content daily.

Katie Tandy

Written by

co-founding editor | creative director, theestablishment.co writer. fledgling filmmaker. singer. nail biter. whiskey swiller. bibliophile.

The Establishment

The conversation is much more interesting when everyone has a voice. Media funded and run by women; new content daily.