The Dangers Of The ‘Cool Girl’ Ideal

Societal pressure to align with powerful men is overwhelming…and damning.

I spent a good portion of my twenties as the “Cool Girl.” I don’t mean to say that I actually was cool or that other people found me to be cool, only that I was fixated on molding myself into the kind of woman I thought would serve me best, no matter the deleterious effect it had on me or the other women in my life. I decried feminism. I felt myself in constant competition with other women. Shamefully, I was quick to criticize and make fun of them, especially to men.

We all know the “Cool Girl,” the one who goes out of her way to say that she gets along with men better than women. The one who considers herself “one of the guys.” She eschews “drama” but has no problem joining men in criticizing other women, individually and as a gender. Allegations of violence against women? She’ll be the first to point out that some women lie. The Cool Girl “gets it.” She doesn’t complain about casual misogyny or sexist jokes from the men in her life. She’s not “uptight.” She’d rather die than be called a “feminist.” She loves sports/gaming/hunting/beer/red meat/comics/dirty…