The Process Of Getting Better Can Really Suck

I will fucking lose it if I don’t acknowledge out loud that some things inherently suck.

Some days, like today, I just can’t. More accurately, sometimes I CAN’T in flashing all caps with animation and, well, here:

We’re taught not to say those words, that they’re self-defeating or will magically become true because we say or think them. Hell, that’s the ENTIRE premise of The Secret — that your self-talk and desires are why you have/haven’t achieved all the things you want. I’ve actively been reclaiming the phrase “I Can’t” for a while now because it frees me up from self-blame and means that I have time to pursue things I Can do and am good at.

We’re also taught to not say “This sucks!” because it externalizes blame — as if an internal blame deficiency is something we’re all suffering from and as if there aren’t real life experiences and structural/systemic reasons for why shit is legitimately hard. Prescribing positivity as though it’s magical fairy dust for people with challenges is mean and ableist. So “This sucks!” is the next phrase I’m going to reclaim — and I’m starting right now as I…