Top 50 White Guys Of The Year

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These men truly went the extra mile to make this past year so memorable.

I t’s been a landmark year, but let’s be honest: No one else quite dominated it the way only white guys can.

It was hard to narrow it down with so many great contenders, but here are 50 white guys who truly went the extra mile to make this past year so memorable.

We toast your tirelessness, gentlemen!

1. White guy who shoots an unarmed black kid and gets off scot-free

2. White guy who thinks the black kid had it coming

3. White guy who doesn’t understand why black people would burn down their own neighborhoods in protest

4. White guy who might be more inclined to listen to marginalized people if they just asked nicer

5. White guy who thinks it’s racist to point out unhelpful, stereotypical white guy responses to tragedy

6. White guy who doesn’t know why you’re making this about race

7. White guy who is not to blame for systemic inequality since he never owned slaves

8. White guy who can totally empathize with black people because the Irish were once slaves, too

9. White guy who thinks you might not know that Bernie Sanders marched with Martin Luther King

10. White guy who quotes Martin Luther King in arguments with black people

11. White guy who thinks it’s divisive to talk about race and gender issues in the first place

12. White guy who thinks Black Lives Matter is a George Soros-funded plot to sow racism and discord among working class people

13. White guy who doesn’t have a racist bone in his body

14. White guy who treats everyone as equals

15. White guy whose opinion on whether something is racist or sexist is every bit as valid as someone who experiences racism and sexism on a daily basis

16. White guy who feels under attack right now

17. White guy who can’t understand why you don’t realize that he’s on your side

18. White guy who is probably a better feminist than you are

19. White guy who thinks you’re not doing women any favors with that attitude

20. White guy who thinks you can’t take a joke

21. White guy who thinks being called out or criticized is censorship

22. White guy who is still waiting for evidence that the racism or misogyny you’ve claimed to experience is real

23. White guy who thinks you’re being irrational

24. White guy who is the voice of reason

25. White guy who was raised by fundamentalist Christians but now thinks all religion is bullshit

26. White guy whose Islamophobia is justified because he hates all religions equally

27. White guy who is an expert on entire cultures he’s never visited

28. White guy who doesn’t understand why you won’t just defer to his expertise on this one

29. White guy who views all human belief systems as part of a hierarchy and places scientific rationalism at the top

30. White guy who thinks the new season of South Park is the best one yet

31. White guy who is just trying to play devil’s advocate

32. White guy who thinks you should find something more important to care about

33. White guy who blames “PC culture” for Donald Trump’s popularity

34. White guy who says “PC culture”

35. Donald Trump

36. White guy who wouldn’t vote for Donald Trump but admires his candor

37. White guy who would vote for Donald Trump

38. White guy who values “freedom” over empathy

39. White guy who thinks capitalism justly rewards hard work and punishes laziness

40. White guy who pulled himself up by his own bootstraps

41. White guy whose grandfather worked hard for everything he had

42. White guy who opens fire in an elementary school because women won’t sleep with him

43. White guy who thinks that now is not the time to talk about gun control

44. White guy who thinks the solution to gun violence is more guns

45. White guy who is about to threaten me with gun violence for making fun of his gun obsession

46. White guy who doesn’t understand why women don’t see what a nice guy he is

47. White guy with dreads

48. White guy who doesn’t think this list is funny

49. White guy who thinks I’m trying to make him feel guilty or ashamed for being a white guy rather than point out some common pitfalls that even the kindest, most well-intentioned dudes fall into from time to time in the interest of making us all better allies to each other’s struggles

50. White guy who can’t take a joke

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