To Raise A Feminist Son, Talk To Him About Aziz Ansari

What my son must know is that none of this is as difficult as the men around him might be saying it is.

“Wake up,” I said in a text message to my son yesterday. “We need to talk about Aziz Ansari.”

My son is on break from college and is visiting his dad in Singapore. But I knew he would be following the news and debates about Ansari closely.

We love Aziz Ansari, my son and I. My son pointed me to Master of None no sooner than it was released on Netflix. “It’s OK, not great, but we should watch it,” he said. Of course we should. Ansari is funny, we had already established. And he’s somewhat like us — of Indian ethnicity (Take that, Hollywood). Also, he is of Indian Muslim origin (take that, Hindu fundamentalists). And he’s woke.

We both were disenchanted partway through season two. I told my son I didn’t like that Aziz only dated white women. My son accused me of double standards because I didn’t turn a similar critique on Mindy Kaling. “It’s different,” I said. He sighed. Our conversations on the nuances of feminist representations are not often easy.

So, when he called me back today, he really didn’t want to talk about the whole business with Ansari. “It’s cringe-worthy,” he said.