We Always Knew You Weren’t Plus-Size, Amy Schumer — But Did You?

Oh Amy Schumer. So smart, so talented, so very problematic. You have done some shady things in your career. And by shady, I mean appallingly privileged and racist. And slightly less problematic, but far more common, has been your “big girl shtick.” Your “lovable yet lumpy” routine. Your constant self-deprecating jokes about your body paired with your girl-power comments about how you can “catch a dick,” while having the nerve to be 160 pounds, have made you rich and famous. So when you decided to call out Glamour magazine for including you in their list of women they admire in their special “plus size” issue — explaining that it’s wrong to call you (a size 6 woman) plus size because it puts forth unrealistic body standards on young women — many were saying “Yeah, down with Glamour, yay Amy!”

But many of us with actual plus size bodies call bullshit.

Amy, we always knew you weren’t plus size, but that hasn’t stopped you from building an entire career off of your “big girl” persona. Isn’t it hilarious how you exist with a few extra pounds? Isn’t it shocking that you’d be considered fat in LA and would occasionally be treated the way real-life fat people are treated every day? Isn’t it inspiring that those 10 extra pounds don’t stop you from fulfilling every woman’s dream of getting dudes’ dicks hard?

Here’s the thing Amy, that shtick? That’s nothing compared to our actual lives. The ridiculous idea that you’d be considered fat? That’s not where the outrage should be. The dicks you’re catching? The label of “unfuckable” put on actually fat women is used to deny our value as human beings every single day. You cash all those checks and yet the moment you see your picture next to some amazing and actually fat women you say, “WHOA GLAMOUR, NOT ME.” Afraid it will rub off? Afraid people will start to really treat you the same way they treat fat women? Take all the seats with your size 6 ass.

Also, guess what — there’s nothing wrong with being labeled “plus size.” There’s nothing wrong with young women being labeled “plus size.” There’s nothing wrong with you being associated with being “plus size.” Because “plus size” isn’t a fucking insult. And you insisting that putting the label on women like you who are privileged enough to only have a few extra pounds is harmful reinforces the idea that the “real fatties” are the ones deserving of the degradation that has been assigned to that label. Did you consider the effect your words would have on actually fat young women?

That pain you feel when someone comments on your body? Multiply it by 1000, every day of your life, and you’ll know what it feels like to actually be fat in this country. Because the moment you leave LA, you are a rich, thin, white woman. You know that, that’s what makes your “big girl” persona so “funny.” In fact, in most of LA, you are still a rich, thin, white woman. It’s privilege personified to be able to profit from an oppressed identity and yet shed it the second Glamour magazine decides to put it in print.

Fat people are real people, and you have made millions off of our pain and trauma. You have worn our identity like a fat suit. Glamour’s fault isn’t in labeling you “plus size” when you are a size 6, it’s in believing the exploitative lie that you’ve been telling for years.

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Lead image: flickr/Penn State

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