We Still Want Everything From Last Year’s Feminist Killjoy Gift Guide

*Editor’s note 12/6/2016: this gift guide has been updated to reflect current item availability.

While we’re working on our 2016 gift guide, we remembered how much we loved everything from last year, so we made sure you can still get it.

It’s that time of year again!

Let me set the scene: the holidays are looming and you still haven’t got anything for that special feminist in your life. Sound familiar? We’ve definitely been there!

No need to worry, though, because here’s the 2015 Feminist Killjoy Gift Guide to save the day! Shop indie, buy cute things, and pick up some solid politics along the way.

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1. Half Of All T-Rexes Were Girls T-shirt*

Lay some science on your pals with this shirt — HALF OF ALL T-REXES WERE GIRLS. Like, I know that’s probably on some level obvious but on another level FUCK YEAH YOU FUCKING LADY THUNDER LIZARDS STOMPING AROUND THE GODDAMN JUNGLE LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE.

To be clear, you do own the place. Because you are the largest land-predator of the Cretaceous Era. And a woman.

(*Available on many items in 2016.)
Buy it here.

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2. Miley “What’s Good?” Print

Your wall is definitely missing a portrait of our queen and savior, Her Royal Highness Nicki Minaj, throwing the most beautiful and perfect shade at Miley Cyrus.

Buy it here.

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3. Sistas In The Struggle Bracelet

Push back against the white-washing of mainstream feminism with this gorgeous bracelet highlighting the work of Black women activists. Bonus: with so many pictures representing so many rad women, it’ll be a great conversation piece at your next dinner party — or whatever it is you do for fun.

Buy it here.

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4. Marie Curie Onesie

You probably you know a baby in your life that needs this (don’t worry, it also comes in adult sizes). You can use it as a starting point for age-appropriate discussions about radiation, the scientific method, and laboratory ethics! Also it’ll be useful for absorbing spit-up and whatever other biohazards come out of your infant.

Buy it here.

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5. “Well, The Patriarchy Isn’t Going To Fuck Itself,” Tote*

Audre Lorde wrote that the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. This bag is for the days when you need to remind people just how true that statement is — but you also want to say it with more cussing.

(*Only available as a tee in 2016.)
Buy it here.

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6. Trans Dragon Journal

Piss off all the TERFs and support a trans artist with this gorgeous journal. The badass cover illustration is done in the colors of the Trans Pride flag and features symbols representing male, female, and non-binary genders. And also it’s a dragon. Dragons are literally so boss.

Buy it here.

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7. FBI Special Agent Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) From Television Series The X- Files Handmade Heart Cameo Pendant Necklace*

Scully is a perfect angel and I can’t believe I don’t already have a picture of her nestled in my bosoms. Looks like it’s far past time to remedy that.

(*Scully unavailable in 2016; 75+other options available.)
Buy it here.

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8. Non Compliant Bitch Planet Pendant

Are you reading Bitch Planet yet? If not, Jesus Christ hurry up and go read it! If yes, then the reasons why you need this necklace are obvious, you beautiful non-compliant lady person that takes up space and makes lots of noise and has too many thoughts about things.

Buy it here.

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9. Cat Battle Armor

Listen, I don’t want to be an alarmist, but the end times might be coming, and maybe you want to prepare for that eventuality. Preparation looks different for everyone; for some (read: most) people, it means stocking up on canned goods and guns and IDK zombie repellant. But — and seriously, hear me out here — what if you had a fighting cat?? Think of how many zombies that thing could kill! Plus, history has proven that cats are super useful during end times (e.g. The Black Plague), so do you really want to risk being cat-free once society finally implodes?

I know this isn’t strictly feminist, but come on CAT BATTLE ARMOR. Also probably you could train your cat to attack MRA trolls.

Buy it here.

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10. Meaty By Samantha Irby

I don’t care that I’m including this book on a holiday gift list a full two years after it was published, so don’t even start with me. If good writing is eternal (and it is), then someday when we’re nothing but genderless bits of data in an all-encompassing data stream, people will still be reading this book even though they don’t know what words like race or tacos or diarrhea mean. But you know what they mean, and that will make your reading experience all the richer and more complete.

Buy it here.

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11. Trust Women Pin

I literally teared up when I stumbled across this pin during one of my late-night Etsy binges. If all of my feminist shit could be summed up in two words, it would be these ones: trust women. Trust that they are capable, that they know what they are talking about, that they are telling the truth. Saying that we should treat women like people really doesn’t seem like a lot to ask, and yet here we are. So please. Trust women.

And also buy this pin to remind everyone else to do the same.

Buy it here.

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12. My Body Is Not A Democracy Print

Celebrate bodily autonomy with this pitch-perfect print. Because you are in charge of your own goddamn body forever, full stop, end of story (plus you look cute in a scarf and a skirt).

Buy it here.

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13. We Are Not Things T-shirt

Say it once more for the ladies in the back:

WE. ARE. NOT. THINGS. Now available in a cool T-shirt format.

Buy it here.

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14. The Imagined Desks of Historical Women 2016 Calendar*

I am not the kind of person who regularly shops at Anthropologie (I mean, let’s be real, I’m the kind of person who aspires to regularly shop at Anthropologie) (they have cute stuff, OK?) (so expensive though) (don’t judge me), BUT THIS CALENDAR IS THE REAL FUCKING DEAL.

Like literally every day I fantasize about where and how historical women sat down and did their thing AND NOW SOMEONE HAS ILLUSTRATED MY DAYDREAMS FOR ME. PRAISE ATHENA.

(*For 2017, the artist went with bunnies, which sold out. But check out this “fierce women” wall calendar.)
Buy it here.

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15. I’m The Next Slayer Pin

I DON’T KNOW, PROBABLY YOU ARE.

Buy it here.

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16. Fuck Off Ring

A picture is worth a thousand words, but a ring that tells dudes to kindly go fuck themselves is worth, like, at least a billion words, right?

Buy it here.

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17. Pierce The Patriarchy T-shirt*

I mean obviously you’ve heard about smashing the patriarchy, but have you ever considered knitting it to death? Get crafty AND misandrist with this cool shirt.

(*Available on many items in 2016.)
Buy it here.

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18. The Badass Feminist Coloring Book By Ijeoma Oluo

Full disclosure: there is a picture of me and my perfect paramour, Mister Spock, in this coloring book. I’m not sure if that will be a selling point to you, I just want to be upfront about it. Full-er disclosure: in spite of (or perhaps because of) my presence, this is the coolest coloring book you will ever own, and that includes the Thunder Cats coloring book you had when you were three.

Buy it here.

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19. Final Girl Merit Badge

To all of you sweet horror geeks, allow me to submit this badge for your consideration. As the description on Etsy says: “She’s the sole survivor of the horrific massacre, the one who outwits the killer, the one who lives to see the sunrise. She is the Final Girl, the classic horror archetype.”

FUCK YEAH SHE IS. FUCK YEAH YOU ARE. Like a beautiful cockroach — perhaps nature’s most perfect creature — you can survive anything. You will always somehow manage to emerge victorious on the other side. And now you have the badge to prove it.

Buy it here.

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20. Resting Bitch Face T-shirt

Like, I don’t know — has there ever been a more perfect t-shirt????

Buy it here.

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21. Witchy Woman Society Tote

Sometimes I think the best rejection of the patriarchy is just to be a witch and live alone with your black cats. You’d hang out all day in a cute little cottage where you could grow herbs, brew potions, and cure the occasional young village girl of heartbreak. Then once a month you go to your witchy woman society meeting and be like “Are men still a thing?” And everyone would be like, “Yeah, they’re still a thing, but hey here’s some witch swag.” And then they’d hand you this tote bag.

Buy it here.

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22. Dump Him Pillow

My friend always jokes that her immediate reaction to hearing any woman talk about her male partner’s shitty behavior is to yell DUMP HIM. But seriously sometimes that is legitimately good advice. Plus this pillow will probably scare away exactly the kind of guy you don’t want to be dating.

Buy it here.

23. Thelma and Louise Scarves*

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Treat yourself and your best friend to these cozy gray cotton scarves that symbolize your sublime and everlasting friendship. Just make sure you decide upfront which of you is the Thelma, and which is the Louise.

(*We can’t find these anywhere in 2016.)
Find other T&G gifts here.

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Lead image: McCall’s magazine, December 1934, Vol. 62 №3, Flickr

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