What A Long, Strange Season It’s Been
T-MINUS 6 DAYS …
Happy Friday friends.
I moved to Oakland from Brooklyn more than five years ago now. For a while I was a bit self-deluded about my love for California; I kept a storage unit in NYC for three years before admitting to myself I was never going back.
By the time I returned, Jeff — the man I’d moved out to Oakland with — was no longer my partner (although we remain the best of friends). We met in the bitter December cold to empty our once mutual possessions, piling cassette tapes and paintings and books into the trunk and drove most of it to the Salvation Army.
I tried to cry; it felt so strange to stare into the empty concrete room that once held our promise to return. But as I scanned my body I realized I didn’t want to cry at all. I was happy. And so was he. Our happiness in California was so much bigger than whether our romantic relationship worked out.
There is a lingering thorn in my west coast life however; I sorely miss real seasons. I find myself semi-arbitrarily putting away corduroy pants in the “summer” or giving myself haircuts so I can demarcate time in photographs.
The different seasons always surfaced different sensations and moods inside my mind. The giddy long days of summer — sticky with bodies and bare feet — gave way to the somber introspection of autumn and so on.
What I’ve realized recently is that seasons traverse even the space-time continuum. New York and I had our season. Jeff and I had our season. Right now? Things have felt hard for more than a year. We’re wrestling with how to make The Establishment sustainable, I’m worried — a lot — about my parents, and of course, there’s the whole pesky socio-political landscape which increasingly resembles a dystopian fiction with a sickening laugh-track.
It’s been a long, rough season.
But it’s but one season. And I feel it shifting. The next season might be harder, but it very well might not be. I’m trying to be Janus; I’m trying to foster a longer field of vision that takes into account where I’ve been — where we’ve all been — and to get excited for what’s next.
For as hard as these seasons have been, they’re also all we get.
With love + rage,
Co-founder | Creative Director
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