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Why ‘Tolerating’ Your Queer Loved Ones Is Dangerous
By Bianka Bell
When I first came out to my parents, I was terrified.
I mean, who wouldn’t be? As evidenced by recent events, “queerness” is not exactly a universally-accepted concept in mainstream society. In fact, since its early acknowledgment, it has been deemed a form of social eccentricity. It is a rising, but not yet popular “culture” (as would be described by a favorable percentage of straight, cisgender people). Even with recent legislation operating in favor of queer rights, queer individuals still need to remain cautious of discrimination they can face in their daily lives.
Still, things have been getting seemingly “better” for queer people of this generation. While the “culture” has not yet been normatively integrated into the global social scheme, there has undoubtedly been an escalation in general toleration of queer people. For those who are acting out this toleration, it may seem like a sufficient stance to hold. But I, a queer person living in America today, am going to tell you something that is imperative to the wellbeing of your loved ones: “Tolerating” them will no longer cut it.
See, my parents love me, but they tolerate my queerness. In fact, they tolerate my queerness because they love me. My coming out story is actually pretty awful. To spare the painful…
