Your 2016 Feminist Killjoy Gift Guide!

By Anne Theriault

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — the time when you wonder what the heck you’re gonna buy the feminist killjoy in your life, and I magically pop up out of nowhere and hand you this helpful list of suggestions!

The feminist killjoys in your life have likely been through a lot this year. Take some time this holiday season to treat them to something special. Here are a few ideas on where to start your shopping:

2016 Dumpster Fire Ornament

image-1-dumpster-fire

One of the things that makes feminism such a rich and varied tapestry is that we all have lots of differing opinions. So many opinions! And we love nothing more than to debate everyone else’s opinions! But one thing I think we can all agree on is that 2016 has truly been a literal dumpster fire. Commemorate our stinky burning metal trash box of a year with this hand-crafted ornament!

Votes For Women Print

Just a few months ago this would have seemed like a cute reference to a historical event. Now — well, I don’t mean to go all “THE DYSTOPIAN TIMES ARE COMING” on you, but frankly, who knows how long women will maintain their basic rights given the current political climate?

What I’m saying is: This print could possibly serve a double purpose of beautifying your home AND being affixed to a stick to be waved around at a political rally. Multitasking!

I Stand With Planned Parenthood Shirt

image-3-planned-parenthod

Speaking of our adorable political climate, check out this sweet T-shirt. With its pattern of abstract vaginas (NEW BAND NAME) and its pro-reproductive-justice slogan, it’s guaranteed to delight the feminist in your life.

As an added bonus, $2 from every T-shirt sale will be donated to Planned Parenthood!

Brilliant Boss Lady Gift Box

screen-shot-2016-12-08-at-3-57-16-pm

It can be hard to be a woman who’s large and in charge. When you’re assertive, people call you a strident bitch. Your ambition is seen as something to be hidden or made less threatening. Men feel more emasculated than usual.

This holiday season, celebrate the Brilliant Boss Lady in your life with this gift box. It includes such delights as:

- “DESTROY” necklace with a knife-shaped pendant
- Badass Bitch pencil set
- Brilliant and Bossy Luxury Soap
- “I’m Not Bossy, I’m the Boss” socks
- “I’m Not Here to Make Friends” socks
- “Not Smiling Makes Me Smile” framed print
- Boss Lady zipper pouch
- “10 Principles of Bullishness” booklet

I’m Not Sorry About Your Fragile Masculinity Pendant

image-5-masculinity-pendant

Speaking of jewelry that is appropriate for boss ladies, this pendant is a perfect way to set the tone at a board meeting. Or any meeting. Actually, I’m not sure what scenario in life this necklace wouldn’t work for.

Black Lives Matter Shirt

screen-shot-2016-12-08-at-4-33-43-pm

In the recent post-election fallout, there was much discussion of the work that needed to be done in order to keep the most marginalized Americans safe from Trump. There were many people who came up with suggestions of concrete action that could be taken immediately, and there were also many (white) people who thought that the answer was . . . safety pins.

As the always-wonderful Ijeoma Oluo pointed out — what does it say about people when they won’t wear a Black Lives Matter shirt but jump all over the idea of showing ally-ship with a safety pin?

This holiday season, don’t blow your hard-earned cash on safety pins. Put your money where your mouth and alleged morals are and pick up a Black Lives Matter shirt. We suggest this one from the Civil Rights Museum gift shop — it comes with a W.E.B Dubois quote on the back from Souls of Black Folk that is as relevant today as it was when it was published in 1906.

Shirley Chisholm Lapel Pin

image-7-shirley-chisholm

. . . but if you’re still stuck on the idea of a pin, you can’t go wrong with this gorgeous lapel pin featuring an image of Shirley Chisholm. Chisholm was the first Black woman elected to the United States Congress, representing New York’s 12th congressional district for seven terms. In 1972, she became the first Black candidate for a major party’s nomination. 

And seriously, is there a better life motto than UNBOUGHT & UNBOSSED?

Make Boys Uncomfortable Sticker

image-8-make-boys-uncomfortable

Since we’re on the subject of life mottos, here’s another great one! This sticker will make the perfect stocking stuffer for the feminist you love.

Vagenda Of Manocide Shirt

image-9-vagenda

The Vagenda of Manocide may be one of the few good things to come out of 2016, other than the Cubs winning the series (depending on who you cheer for, I guess — I’m not even a Cubs fan, I just love watching all those videos of senior citizens crying and hugging because their team finally won). As Alexandra Petry wrote back in a more hopeful time (namely October), “The nasty women must make haste. The Vagenda is quite full.” With a Trump presidency on the horizon, that statement is even more true.

Show your commitment to the Vagenda with this exactly perfect shirt.

¡Libérate, Mujer! Tote Bag

image-10-liberate-mujer

Look, feminists have places to go and shit to do and frankly we are chronically in need of cute, practical ways to carry all of our important feminist stuff from one place to another. This bag will be amazing for the feminist on your shopping list whose daily bring-everywhere accessories include two books, a journal, their current knitting project, and a supply of candy (because you never know when you might need candy).

Genderfluid Shirt

image-11-genderfluid

I am a sucker for a good pun, so frankly they had me at “Good For The Trans*Mission.” This shirt makes a great gift for the genderfluid feminist babe in your life!

Nerd Necklace

image-12-nerd-necklace

Speaking of words like genderfluid and genderqueer, have you by any chance noticed how amazing the Merriam-Webster dictionary’s social media presence is? This holiday season, buy your favorite feminist a low-key shoutout to the world’s most deliciously shady lexicon in the form of this clear glass pendant containing a cutout of the word “nerd” from a vintage Webster’s dictionary.

Magical Objects Of The Wizarding World Poster

image-12-wizarding

I am an adult and I understand the difference between need and want so please take that into consideration when I tell you that I need this poster that neatly organizes and catalogues nearly every magical object from the Harry Potter series. I NEED IT. And I dare say someone you know and love does too.

Safety Lights Are For Dudes Cross Stitch

image-14-safety-lights

Give this cute little cross-stitched version of Holtzmann’s motto to your favorite feminist to serve as a bit of daily inspiration. They don’t need safety lights! They’re not like that big baby Dr. Venkman who needs baby stuff like safety lights on everything just to make sure he doesn’t die! All they have to do is make sure that no one crosses the streams and everything will be fine.

Witch Pendant

image-15-witch-pendant

As noted previously on this site, witches are hot right now, and part of their appeal for women is that practicing witchcraft gives them a sense of power and control that they are often otherwise lacking in their lives. Help your favorite feminist channel her inner witch and tap into some cosmic power with this hand-stamped heart-shaped WITCH pendant.

What Is A Witch Book

image-16-what-is-a-witch

Speaking of witches, the spooky art-lover in your life is bound to adore Tin Can Forest Press’ latest offering, What is a Wtich. Their own description of the book far exceeds anything I can write, so I’ll just post this bit from their website:

“Conjure an image of a witch in your mind’s eye, and you’ll find s/he can take many different shapes. Evil, beautiful, hideous, holy, a sinner who just might save us all — this multifaceted archetype is a dark layer-cake of legends and associations. Written by Phantasmaphile’s Pam Grossman and artwork by Canada’s occult sweethearts Tin Can Forest, What Is A Witch is a an illuminated incantation, a crystalline invocation, a lovingly-crafted celebration of the world’s most magical icon.”

I own this book and can personally guarantee that there is nothing else on this planet that so perfectly treads the fine line between beautiful and weird.

MoonBox

image-17-moonbox

Continuing on with the witchy theme, we have to admit that we are absolutely smitten with Gaia Collective’s MoonBox. The boxes follow an Ipsy model, meaning that you receive a new one with new contents on a monthly basis, and they are available in a variety of styles and prices. For $12.50 a month, you can receive a hand-picked crystal, an herbal tea, and a new essential oil blend — a pretty decent price for such a sweet monthly pick-me-up.

Midnight Run Tank Top

image-18-midnight-run

I’ll be straight with you: There is nothing overtly feminist about this tank top. It’s kinda witchy, but otherwise there’s no really good reason to include it in this gift guide. The only reason I can come up with is: I love it and I assume some of you will love it too. AND IT’S MY DAMN GIFT GUIDE AND I CAN INCLUDE WHATEVER I WANT. (Clearly the absolute power of writing every year’s gift guide has finally corrupted me absolutely.)

Translady Fanzine

image-19-translady-fanzine

What better way is there to actively support trans artists than by buying their work? This holiday season, order your favorite feminist killjoy a copy of the gorgeous first issue of Translady Fanzine

As per their website:

“Translady Fanzine focuses on one woman of trans experience per issue, showcasing vivid photographs of the model as she wishes to be seen, featuring exclusive text of her experience in her own words. Translady Fanzine is visual proof of contemporary trans existence.”

Flower Vial FU Necklace

image-20-fu-necklace

Do you ever have days where you just want to tell pretty much everyone you meet to fuck off? But, like, quietly? Maybe with a sneaky piece of jewelry? So that they never know, but you have the personal satisfaction of having sartorially flipped off everyone you’ve run into? Well, this sweet little necklace, with its vial of dried flowers and blink-and-you’ll-miss-it FU tag, is perfect for those days.

Mad Girl’s Love Song Tights

image-21-mad-girls

Speaking of wearable hidden (or in this case, really not so hidden) messages, this pair of tights with Sylvia Plath’s poem “Mad Girl’s Love Song” printed on them are just too cute to pass up. The Plath-loving feminist in your life will be all over this literary addition to her wardrobe.

Fat Artists Rule Shirt

image-22-fat-artists

I know we all support body positivity in theory, but this is a great chance to support it in practice as well. Take a public stance on fat empowerment by wearing this shirt and showing your love for four amazing fat artists — Brittany Howard, Debora Iyall, Beth Ditto, and Big Mama Thornton. This is your chance to make a statement about your politics and look great while doing so!

Bi-Furious Necklace

image-23-bi-furious

You know what they say! When you’re done being bi-curious, it’s time to get bi-furious! Let this necklace help you on that journey.

Don’t Touch My Hair Shirt

image-24-dont-touch

I know you’ve all already listened to Solange Knowles’ “A Seat At The Table,” because this is the Feminist Killjoy Gift Guide and not the Gift Guide For People With No Taste In Music. If you love Solange’s latest album and you often find yourself telling (or wishing you could tell) people to keep their damn hands off your hair, then this is the shirt for you.

Self-Care Index

image-25-selfcare

There are many differing opinions about the term “self-care” and whether or not certain prescriptive iterations of self-care are more dangerous than they are useful. All of which is to say that depending on your feelings about self-care, this book may not be for you. That being said, I do challenge anyone to not be both soothed and charmed by a self-care zine that has an entire section dedicated to corgi butts.

Ms. Andry’s Bath House Products

image-26-ms-andry

Since we’re talking about self-care, what better gift for a feminist killjoy than a set of delicious feminist-themed bath products? With names like “Ruth Bather Ginsburg Bubble Bath” and “Elizabeth Warren Shower Gel,” these are guaranteed to be a hit.

Binge-Watching Survival Kit

screen-shot-2016-12-12-at-12-11-27-pm

Of course, another very valid and important form of self-care is the Netflix Binge Watch. This year, give someone you love the self-care they need while they practice self-care with this Binge-Watching Survival Kit. The kit includes stuff like coasters, emergency socks, a snack clip, face-cleansing towelettes, and a sofa yoga guide — all guaranteed to make a holiday binge-watch all the more enjoyable.

Yes Homo Cross Stitch Kit

image-28-yes-homo

And if you want to add in a little something for your loved one to do with their hands while spending long afternoons Netflixing away, why not try this Yes Homo cross stitch kit? Not only is it a fun and crafty activity, once it’s done they’ll have a cute new decoration for their home! This gift pairs perfectly with all the Dean/Castiel shipping you’ll inevitably do while marathoning Supernatural.

Stranger Things Coloring Book

image-29-stranger-things

This is for the feminist in your life who has already watched the entire Stranger Things series 10 times and is still craving more Stranger Things; help ease them through the waiting period until Season 2 with this wonderful coloring book. This is their chance to use their pencil crayons to give Winona her very own Winona Forever tattoo!

Empowered Women Empower Women Print

image-10-empowered-women

This list started out on a bleak note, but we want to finish on a hopeful one. As a woman, it’s hard not to embrace a scarcity model of, well, life. We’re socialized to believe that there are only a few top spots for women in any given field (but, naturally, that there are plenty for men), and that the only way to gain them is through cutthroat competition for other women. But you know what? Seeing other women succeed helps women succeed. Seeing women achieve things helps other women believe that they can achieve things. A rising tide lifts all boats.

This gorgeous print deserves to be hung in a place where it can be seen every day and can serve as a reminder to be inspired by other women and to try to live a life that inspires.

Want EVEN MORE AMAZING ideas? Check out our updated guide from last year.

Like what you read? Give The Establishment a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.

Responses
The author has chosen not to show responses on this story. You can still respond by clicking the response bubble.