How Much A Smile Can Really Hide:

Smile: Outside ~ Crying: inside

So much can be hidden behind a smile and so many people don’t think or take any action towards finding out what and why they are hiding so much bit in an act of kindness and caring.

Not being understood and heard by my own parents. They say that assume means: making an “ass” out of you and me. Yet most or all of the time they appear to only and just assume. They focus on the past, how the cycle has looked like. I’ve said many times that I’ll change yet they don’t see any new change in me. It makes me feel like they aren’t trying and refuse to yet in some things they say basically tell me they want change but don’t do their part in the change itself.

No matter how many times I try though my shrink (Erin) has taught me that we can try to educate and inspire change but we can’t force any kid of change on anyone or anything. I know this all too well before she taught me so. I learned that I didn’t get the change of the feeling of stepping out of my comfort zone and feeling that element of risk because I was demanding or forcing it. When I inspired and didn’t force it, the kind of change I wanted happened.

Felt misunderstood, hurt, in pain, not having my own self and my own emotions and sensitivity being considered or valued by my own parents. They don’t even bother trying yet some point in all these situations state that they want change but don’t act or speak and even contribute any effort to trying to understand. And if they struggle or don’t know how to, they gotta know that they must speak up because I don’t read minds and same goes for them with me.