How To Treat Others Regardless Of Anything…
Well how did I come up with this one? What thoughts, experiences, moments that lead to this subject and title? Well it’s a lot to do with my experiences with customers as a seller and the outcomes of them.
It’s the thoughts that also gave me this idea as I believe these thoughts need to be shared in this platform to help bring these programs to light so anyone who finds themselves communicating with sellers on eBay, Letgo, Carousel, Kijiji, Facebook Marketplace and other selling platforms. So let’s get to the story here!
To start off, I was communicating with 3–6 people messaging about my laptop I had posted as a listing on Facebook Marketplace. And one guy (the screenshots of the conversion throughout this post I’m gonna be talking about more deeply and thoroughly) messaged me with his interest in the laptop.
Within a certain amount of time discussing about the laptop, I thought it would be good to mention even after having arranged a date to have him come pickup the laptop from me; about how I haven’t had time to remove all the files (and transfer them onto one of my USB keys) before posting it online. He then said what he said below in the first message (left screenshot picture).
For starters, my first thought is that well people like him seem to forget we all have bust crazy lives and may not have time to do things like removing files off a device before posting. I have a busy life too and it took about a week at least or days before I got people who were more serious or willing to drive to my area to pickup (as some people or many rather say, aren’t willing to able to drive to my area).
So to add to that, as much as for the fact that we all have our own issues, baggage and such; my health issues and my circumstances limit what I can do like driving (puts my health at risk with my brain not being in its best condition/state) especially also with availability times and locations.
Even if I state in the ad details that I’m able to meet at one location (Toronto Premium Outlet Mall), I may not be available the times you may be available; though I may live close enough to that mall. I also have limitations and I can’t make any changes to them for the sake of making a sale. If you want more reasoning on that, read this article I posted!
Anyway, back to the story from where I left off. How he said that: “at the same time, don’t put something up for sale before you’ve taken everyone out of it because now you’ve lost me as a customer.” I gotta say that he was viewing a situation from one side: keep these in mind:
There are always two sides to every story.
Though you have a picture, doesn’t mean you have the whole story. Don’t assume, ask questions to clarify what you mean if it’s even 50% accurate or close to what you thought or assumed even.
Like I said: people have their own busy lives and they can easily choose to post something and would think it may not get instant attention from any interested buyers/customers for the item, so it would be safe and okay to post it online even if it’s not 100% ready:
- Files removed
- Any new updates to be updated
- Other
So before you go assuming something and going off on someone for being human mainly, why don’t you ask the person some questions to clarify what you struggle to understand yourself on your own. Maybe even cut them some slack.
Hey think back to any one or many moments in your life where people: friends, family, coworkers, acquaintances didn’t cut you some slack, and how you felt. Let that help you make the right decision to hold back on your easily based accusations or assumptions and ask as many questions until all your questions have been answered.
Don’t worry about asking too many questions; never hesitate at all!
Well to go off from the left screenshot above here: how did he know where I live? I’m sure I didn’t give him my address unless it was more agreed to do porch pickup. That is scary he would know yet as I know I didn’t tell him my address.
And second of all: I may or may not have told him at this point in the conversation: I don’t drive and I rely on family and friends to drive me places. And how he probably noticed on his own or by having myself send him a screenshot of the ad details: listing available places for pickup:
I may or may not have also told him that I’m only able to meet there whenever I’m coming there: I won’t come there just to meet there for that purpose only. As I don’t drive yet (no drivers license to begin with, and I share a Black Ford Focus car with my sister (who’s a couple years younger than me) which to think yourself: will be challenging to be able to drive the car to meet someone to sell something to someone.
Well like I said: I may or may not have told him the stuff I mentioned above. And here they are: my proof!
And yes I’m the previous screenshot I’ve provided: he mentioned that I sent him messages excessively: and I am here to not deny that fact and to take full responsibility for my actions and mistakes. But to be clear: though it was way too much and excessive, my intentions were to help him understand that my intentions aren’t what he assumes they are to be.
And to clarify more in detail about the right screenshot shown above, (not the picture above but the one above that; though the screenshot above here also proves as I’ve mentioned just below it); the discolouration you (he) may be seeing is from the camera lense from my phone and also light from the window shining through the window in a room where the laptop was taken.
And secondly also, about the condition: state of the laptop; I made it clear that I hadn’t used it in months as I also mentioned that I now own an iPad. And also that my memory isn’t strong to remember how well it works to be able to say myself of that fact. You can’t expect anyone or anyone’s life to be perfect and to have events, moments, things and everything in between be perfect. Because life isn’t perfect and we gotta accept that and make peace with it!
And to consider that my life is complicated enough, I don’t need more stress than all that I’m dealing with myself. I’m not asking for much from anyone here. Think to a moment when someone refused to understand and how that made you feel.
How did that make you feel? Being misunderstood? How did it feel to be constantly being treated that way and even worse? Imagine someone else experiencing that kind of experience.
Next, think of when you are in this scenario and think (I’m hoping) you’d wish if you were given a chance to give someone a moment to be heard, and be understood, you’d take it, and you’d give someone that kind of feeling! Now, let’s put that into action!
And my last thought is on the big statement made in both screenshots included above here. He decided to critique what I did which I will again say: won’t deny the fact nor the mistake/wrong doing I made. Yes I made the big mistake of sending him message after message but to clarify:
If you want someone to meet you and to expect them to do it on their day off, the least you can do is:
- Treat them with kindness, compassion, understanding, consideration, empathy and anything else that should be given to any human being in any situation.
- Respect with sellers rules, and the limitations with arranging pickup, deliver and shipping options: people may not be able to meet you when you want them to: life doesn’t go according to plan and life isn’t fair either
Don’t complain so much, life is life. It’s not fair a lot of the time and we all gotta learn and make peace with that and move on with our lives. If we want something, we are going to have to work for it. If we want something shipped to us, we will have to pay, that’s how life works. Don’t think anyone will ship for free, even if they do, you’ll have to pay for something: either the item or shipping or in some cases, both.
Oh and another important piece of info anyone reading should know: it’s I’m capable of giving great service:
These two customers gave me great reviews and I gave great reviews back because I gave them great service. Also because I’ve been finally gaining more control back now; after having been controlled a lot by my abusive parents: which I’ve been living with since day one. And another hint: my ADD was brought on by trauma also caused abuse: domestic abuse.
