You Think I’m Crazy, Well That’s Not Fair
Mental illness! It’s something that even still many who are affected by mental illness suffer due to their own parents from an older generation who aren’t that easily convinced to take time to try to understand the subject and the effects it has on someone.
And I’m one of millions who have suffered from the stigma around mental health and the effects it as for having parents from an older generation who aren’t used to or having any education or acceptance/validation that mental health and mental illness is a normal thing that has been real for decades! Like how do you expect any human being to cope and heal from the effects of this? The emotional trauma, the pain, the nightmares, the endless suffering overall from parents and others not taking any hints or realization that their way of responding isn’t acceptable nor supportive nor helping anyone nor the situation from being resolved and healed.
For those who have suffered and still suffer from these things, know that you aren’t alone regardless of any circumstances and the things people say to you. Don’t let those words nor anything in life affect how you see yourself nor how you look at your life either! Just know that deep down, there’s a millions reasons why you should continue living your life and many reasons to hold on.
Trust me, I’ve been holding on for 3+ years. Yes that’s longer than my recovery and though I had a depressive episode + a relapse, I’ve been holding on longer than all that combined. Sometimes throughout, I asked myself why I’m holding on when I felt so hopeless towards the situation and even circumstances changing for the better, but deep down, there was something inside of me that kept holding on.
I didn’t attempt to use self harm actions such as using pain killers to numb the pain, use sharp objects to cut my skin and even suicide, I didn’t because of this quote from The Arrangement:
“You don’t do it because deep down inside, you know there’s something worth sticking around for (hope). Because if you really wanted to die, you would’ve done it three years ago.”
And once I finally combined this quote with my own struggles and mental illness, I really understood why I never did any of those things in my past. I didn’t do it because I believed things can change and that I truly deep down didn’t want to end my life that way; rather so happen naturally when my time comes but from many years from now when I’m old and my kids are all grown up, studying to pursue their passions, etc and with my husband whoever he may be!
Though there’s a couple things I’d like to share about my struggles with the stigma around mental illness:
That those who continually refuse to understand my depression is not my fault and it’s not my responsibility nor in my control to make them understand.
What is important in these moments is to take care of myself and do what my body is telling me it needs me to do for itself. Self care can be selfish and there’s absolutely no shame in taking the amount of time for myself! Health comes first before work and before education!
