What is your mother telling her friends about your startup?
If you opened this article, chances are you are running your startup or working at one. If you do, then you know exactly what I am talking about and you are probably already smiling to yourself at picturing your mother telling her friends whatever it is that she understood you to do at that strange job… This is a very common struggle in the startup world.
Well, I guess it depends in what phase you are. If you are finding yourself laughing, then you are already beyond the line and you are at peace with yourself (and her). You can skip the next paragraphs and go directly to the bottom where I share some funny stories...
But if you haven’t yet accepted and transcended the problem you probably opened this article looking for an answer to your internal struggle: how the hell do I explain my mother what I do? She just doesn’t get it! And she keeps asking everytime we talk! Every time I change the way I describe my startup, and every time is like the last one…
I have bad news: there is no answer. But there is something that will help you a lot with the struggle.
The truth is that your mother doesn’t care about what you are actually doing. Think about it. She is not asking because she wants to calculate your market value, help iterate your business model, search for potential clients or suggest how to manage your team. You know better than I do that she is just concerned about making sure that you are okay, that you have enough money to eat, sleep, and maybe get new clothes once in a while.
But then why does she keep asking?
Because she is proud of you (even if she does not tell you), she secretly thinks you will be next Steve Jobs, but even more because she has to tell something to her friends when they ask!!
You have to understand her.
When entrepreneurs are asked: “What do you do?” they often reply saying “I am an entrepreneur”. This answer always leads to: “Yes, but what is that you do?”. The same happens to her when she talks about you.
The sons and daughters of your mom’s friends are journalists, engineers, lawyers, economists, etc.. It does not matter what they actually do every day in their offices, what matters is that the label satisfies the (fake?) curiosity. “He is an engineer” is enough.
But you? What are you?
As entrepreneur is not specific enough as a day to day activity and it’s not a valid qualification. She will be asked: “Yes, but what is it that he/she does?” And here lies the problem. This means she can’t escape with the label. She has to say something about what you do, not just what you “are”.
It’s very difficult for her because:
- The startup world is itself incomprehensible for her as it is not part of her generation’s mental model of the world. It’s difficult to just picture you working…
- If you are involved in new technologies (and all is relative here!), not only do they not understand “where” you work, but they also have no idea of “what” you are talking about when you mention cryptocurrency, brain computer interface, or 3D printing.
So!?
Here is the relieving thing: you can lie. It’s a mistake to try to explain. Neither she nor her friends are actually interested in what you really do. Your mom may care, but she knows it’s just too difficult. Her friends really do not care about you, I promise. So you just have to give your mother something simple enough that she can use effectively when she is asked that terrifying question!
Over the last few days I asked facebook groups and others in my network in order to find examples of this… here are some that may help you!
Gireesh is founder of Gipzonics, a company providing technological solutions in the field of electronics and instrumentation. He tells his mother that he is an electrician.
Davide from Italy is the founder of auLAB, he provides workshops about idea creation and business models to high school students. He tells his grandmother that he is a journalist.
Antonio was the founder of the first ISP in South Italy back in 1994, and he used to tell her mother that he was working with computers.
David is founder of GraviTalent, a company providing talent assessment through virtual games. He tells her mother that he helps companies to hire employees.
Skinner is founder of Exosphere, and he tells his mother that he founded a school.
When Marcio pitched Wannamigrate to YC, he told his mother he was going to a place that is “like Harvard for business”.
…
Primo just tells her that he eats well and dresses warmly, and she stops asking :)
Chris tells her he “makes money” ;) Smart!
Brandon tells her that he is “figuring it out” :/
I am collecting similar stories, if you have a funny one please comment down here or send me an email at niccolo@exosphe.re with the subject “What My Mom Tells her Friends about Me and My Startup”
And remember:
“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Please recommend and share with your startupper friends to save them from going crazy! And don’t forget to subscribe to our Curated Newsletter here!
