5 Things All Expats Hate
Seriously, what’s wrong with some expats?
Hate is a strong word, yet sometimes it’s the right one. Expats are a particular group, occasionally not always in a good way. So what can piss us off more than anything?
Many things can tick off expats, so narrowing it down to 5 was pretty brutal. Yet, I could finally narrow down the 5 things we, as expats hate the most.
Get ready to partake in breathing exercises, as this list is bound to piss you off.
1) Expat Syndrome
Many expats seem to have a “savior complex” when they go abroad. They are foreigners; they know what’s best always. They will question everything local management and workers do and be total asshats.
This rings especially true in the country I stay in, China. Expats, typically white, will think they rule over the local staff and all decision-making. They try to swing their dick around (man or woman) and make things happen how they want. This typically works until someone takes a bite out of them.
Whether at the bar or on the street, they think they’re the hottest of shit, but running into one of these expats is the same as stepping in a dog turd on the road. You realize it; you get pissed and scrape it off, then you forget.
2) Dick Measuring Contests
Going hand in hand with the previous entry, a dick-measuring contest is where expats suffering from expat syndrome meet to see who’s a more significant piece of shit.
Some famous plays in this contest include referencing all the girls they’ve supposedly slept with, how popular they are in their hometown, or how much money they make.
The best quotes from my most recent spectating of a dick-measuring contest are as follows:
I’m basically a king at my work, they let me do anything!
You have no idea how popular I am here on Tinder! You want to see my matches? It’s crazy!
China is cool, but back home was way more exciting. I could get a table at any club for free, it was so fun!
Neither side can ever accept defeat, so these dick-measuring contests will last until one of them gets too drunk and
A) wants to fight
B) throws up and needs to leave
Be weary if you see a dick-measuring contest, as listening for even a second will flip your stomach.
This is one of the reasons I avoid most expats and stick with local friends. You may think I’m exaggerating, but this often happens with the bar-going expat crowd.
3) Being Generalized
Although not as annoying as the previous entries on the list, being generalized into your country’s stereotypes will piss off anyone.
An example, if I may. Someone brought their expat husband from South Africa when I was at a work dinner. When I mentioned I was American, the very first thing out of his mouth was:
“Oh fuck, so you’re a Trump lover? Fucking Americans”.
I kid you not; my jaw dropped. I wanted to correct and slice him apart with my words, but I knew it wasn’t the right setting. Swallowing my words felt like eating an entire watermelon in one bite, but it had to be done.
No matter where you’re from, being grouped with an entire country of people sucks.
Yet, the same goes the other way around. I can’t stand expats who talk down to the citizens of the country they work. Imagine grouping together all 1 billion Chinese people into one fictitious idea. Unbelievable.
4) Companies Taking Advantage of Expats
The tried and true classic of local companies trying to take advantage of their expat workers never gets old.
This is typically more prevalent in teaching, where shady language training centers await their non-certified foreign teachers to rake in cash.
People new to expat life don’t know the ropes and get bit in the ass. I know that for a fact, as I’ve experienced it.
Work 50 hours a week with no overtime pay? Cool. Keeping your passport and not giving it back is classic. Refusing to provide release papers upon quitting? Wow, you shouldn’t have.
Fuck these companies, seriously.
5) “When are you coming home?”
Although not the same kind of hate as the rest of this list, this question sucks.
A lot of the time, we want to return home to see family and friends, but it just isn’t feasible. Especially as I’m in China, we haven’t been able to travel stably for over three years.
Now that China is opening, things are looking better. Yet, the flight tickets are still above $3,000 to return home!
Here’s to returning for a nice vacation sometime this year, hopefully.
Are you pissed at me for forgetting something?
If there’s something that makes you angry as an expat and I didn’t list it, comment it down below! There are way too many things that can piss us off, so I tried to find the most expat-centric ideas.
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