The 10 Types of Expats You’ll Find Abroad
Stereotyping is bad, so I did it for you and put together the ten types of expats you’ll find abroad.
Disclaimer: This article is not meant to offend anyone. This was written all in good fun.
Stereotyping is bad, right? Well, sometimes stereotypes are accurate as hell.
There’s the well-known stereotype of the white guy that goes to a country in Asia, gets tattoos, and drinks a little too much from time to time; wait… this is starting to sound a bit like me. Never mind that; what if I told you that even more types of foreigners stick out like a sore thumb, and you might be one of them?
Please take a seat, grab a bottle of Tsingtao beer, and see which expat you are (I hope you’re not the first one).
- The Creepy Pub Drunk
Ahh, yes, an all-time classic in the expat world. The Creepy Pub Drunk, often with a name like “Mike” or “Dan” prowls the same pub each night for his next victim.
Sitting on the same barstool for so many years, his ass is indented in the cushion; he feels the need to talk to every person remotely resembling a woman's figure. Often making remarks with absolutely uncalled-for sexual connotations, it’s best to stay away.
The Creepy Pub Drunk is typically older, out of shape, and sweaty.
WARNING: If you try to interrupt his hunt, he will never forget it. Like a crow, your face is burned into his memory.
2. The Family
A significant shift from the previous entry, the Family, is a cute bunch that typically sticks to other families.
Whether it be brunches, play dates, beach days, or anything in between, they have their life together to the point where you’ll be jealous. You’ll be hard-pressed to see them out on the town after 7 PM; if you do, it’s a spectacle to behold.
3. The Sexpat
Swerving back into the lewd underbelly of expats slides in the Sexpat. One of the most well-known expat types and probably the most plentiful.
Typically considered a loser back home, they escaped the clutches of their hometown to pursue local women. The catch? They need a job to come here!
No problem! There are hole-in-the-wall language center jobs a plenty for these foreigners. The kids they are teaching are only an afterthought behind the great bounty Tinder offers them.
4. The Shut-in
The Shut-ins are a rather respectable group of expats who choose to keep to themselves and entirely withdraw from the world around them.
You will only see them outside of their apartment at work or on the occasional grocery trip. Catching a glimpse of a Shut-in anywhere else is like finding a leprechaun minus the gold.
5. The Complainer
“Why the hell does my WeChat not work? Why does this food taste like feet? Chinese beer sucks!” are telltale signs you have a complainer in your midst. Please proceed with caution, or you might get caught in their crosshair.
If this happens, you’ll be stuck in a one-hour soapbox therapy session with no escape. Try to change the topic. The Complainer will somehow flip your words into how “You’re being brainwashed to be Chinese” or something along those lines. It can get messy.
6. Mr./Ms. 10 Jobs
Probably the most hardworking person you’ve ever met, Mr/Ms. 10 Jobs life down to the very second is scheduled.
Three training centers, two private classes, TikTok live streaming, and hosting the club all on the same day. Good luck meeting up with this type of expat, as they’re only free at 10 AM on Tuesday.
7. The Model / Dancer
Typically from eastern-European countries, the Model/Dancer has an entourage of beautiful people they move with. It is incredibly hard to see one of these models, as they typically work long hours deep into the night.
Pair their long working hours with their training sessions; they are some swamped people!
You can typically find them with a TikTok account with many followers. If you’re lucky enough, you can slide into one of their videos for the slightest hint of fleeting popularity.
8. The Club Host
The expat that everyone wants to know, the Club Host, is on everyone’s phone. Not necessarily for their personality, but definitely for the free booze.
Whether the booze is real or fake is a different question altogether, but hey, man, it’s free.
The Club Host typically has outstanding Chinese, is popular outside of expat circles, and doesn’t sleep until 8 AM. But hell, you better make friends with one.
9. The Student
Possibly suffering from a failing liver, the Student is the most unruly. They haven’t been to class in a month, and even if they did, they wouldn’t remember as they were still blacked out from the night before.
The Club Host’s phone is blown up by the Student every day, as they can’t afford to buy alcohol themselves. All this aside, they still seem to have a great time.
10. The Relatively Normal Person
Ahh, yes, the most boring, yet common, expat abroad. They aren’t entirely normal because no truly sane person would choose the life of an expat.
They drink a good amount. If they’re single, they’ll game on some beautiful people. They complain a fair amount. They do everything the other entries do but in moderation.
All of us expats are crazy, anyway.
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