The *F.E.A.R. Series: Relocation

*False Evidence Appearing Real.

So you’ve been thinking for what feels like (and most likely has been) weeks, months and years about relocating. You have a suitable job, apartment and car picked out online but in reality you’re not committing to anything. You’ve revisited your pros and cons list multiple times and been talked in and out of the move by multiple people but you still aren’t ready! My guess is, if you are reading this you fall into one of two categories (i) the ‘Planner’ or (ii) the ‘Free Spirit’.

I relocated to Grand Cayman in November 2019 — one of my best experiences to date. Image via Instagram here.

The Planner

We are all natural born Planners, our minds always want to plan and work things out. But let’s be honest, unless you live a pretty mundane life that’s not how things usually happen. When it comes to relocating, planning is possible to a certain extent but after that it’s really up to you and your mindset. When you relocate to an entirely new place you get a fresh start. As cliche as that sounds, just think about it — you get the chance to make new friends, choose new interests and explore the type of person you want to become, all without the prejudice or the influence of old habits.

But what if the inability to plan for the unknown is constantly holding you back? Even if your life is great as it is, it can only get better by experience and the further you move out of your comfort zone the more ‘you’ you become.

Instead of letting the unknown scare you let it excite you. Try to rationalize your fearful thoughts by making a list of the things stopping you from doing something (and this can apply to anything not just relocating!). Once you consciously acknowledge and question your fearful thought process and replace it with a more logical, informed process it will open your mind to new opportunities. When it comes to relocating there are so many resources available to help you make an informed decision, you have no excuses!

“What if I relocate and it doesn't work out?” we cannot plan for failure. Trying to do so will inevitably ensure we fail! Failure is something we must be comfortable in accepting. If we never experience failure we will never truly appreciate the ecstasy of success. And anyway, so what if it doesn't work out?! Think of all the lessons to be learnt and confidence to be gained even from just giving it a go. You will return with new found appreciation of home and a more open mind. No matter what your mind is telling you, I’m sure it will be easier to slot right back into your old life than you think!

The Free Spirit

I certainly fell into what I like to call the ‘Free Spirit’ category. I could not wait to relocate! I first heard of the offshore haven that is Grand Cayman when I was about 19. I then spent seven years sporadically emailing recruiters, connecting with people in Cayman on LinkedIn, googling work permit guidelines, the weather, the cost of living, the local cuisine… the list goes on.

For me, as much as I longed to go I also wanted to finish college, complete professional exams, hit certain self-set career and salary milestones, save money and travel. Many times throughout those years I had to remind myself that life does not just simply go from A to B.

It’s funny how the mind works, it can either have you so full of fear that you are never ready to do anything or so afraid of not doing something that you do it before your ready!

Image created using Canva.

Many of us have realized by now that there is no right time to do anything. But when you are “getting your ducks in a row” to make change then timing is everything. Luckily for me I took this advice onboard and did not make any rash or unrealistic decisions. Instead, I made a plan and starting at ‘A’ I steered my way towards ‘B’ for a number of years. All those steps in between A and B (aka “the journey”) were like a continuous subconscious cycle of little a’s and little b’s pushing me towards my end goal.

Relocating is without a doubt challenging but it is one of the most rewarding life challenges you can take on.

Now that we have highlighted the impact of mindset on decision making. I have compiled a list of some practical advice from my own personal experience and the experience of others;

1. Join social groups/clubs such as exercise groups, book clubs and sports clubs. Make a list of groups/clubs you want to join before you move and join them as soon as possible — if you don’t do it from the beginning you will make excuses not to do it later!
2. Do not enter a lease agreement for an apartment before you have a chance to explore your surroundings — find a short term rental for the first few weeks. This will save you having to move multiple times in the first year and hassle with deposits. It took us 6 weeks to find “the one” and because we were patient we hope not to move house again for at least two years. When budgeting remember you more than likely will have to pay two months rent upfront.
3. Manage your job expectations. If you do not have a job before you relocate make sure you understand the employment market, your earning potential and do not be afraid to reach out to people on LinkedIn working in a similar role to you or recruiters in the area well in advance of your move.
4. Have a relocation budget. Relocating is more expensive than many anticipate. Do your research, everyone has a different comfort level so budget accordingly! Get familiar with the cost of living before you move. Also setting up a foreign bank account seems to take an unprecedented amount of time so having a travel card such as Revolut will come in handy.
5. It takes almost everyone over 6 months to settle into a new life in a new place. If you are brave enough to make the move in the first place, stay strong and give yourself enough time to settle in before second guessing your decision! Local knowledge is the best knowledge, reach out to other expats for advice, places to hang out, information on job opportunities etc.
6. You have to date for friends — don’t be afraid to ask that person you get on with for their number or to meet you for dinner or a coffee. Making a bunch of new friends can be daunting, you just have to put yourself out there. Your not going to click with every single person you meet so don’t be disheartened when you get ghosted after the first date! Making new friends is one of the best things about relocating and it forces you to open your mind to the different types of people out there who you do or don’t want to hang out with.
7. Don’t move from the job you hated at home to a job you know your going to hate in a new location just to pay the bills.. Fresh start remember. Equally if you love your job at home and that is the thing stopping you from moving, remember you will spend 60 years of your life working so a little variation wouldn't go amiss!
8. Go with an open mind . If you move abroad for a preset amount of time you will subconsciously restrict your potential success and happiness in the new place as it will always be “ means to an end”. You might also feel undue pressure from your family/previous employer to stick to this preset time even if you decide to stay longer.
9. Once you’ve relocated your back at ‘A’ again. Getting on the plane is the first step, you now have to work your way towards ‘B’ again - whatever ‘B’ may be for you. Your experience will become what you make it. Take it step by step and enjoy the small wins.
10. This is your life. You are responsible for it. Stop thinking and start taking part.

I hope you found this post insightful! If you haven't already, please check out my previous post “Quitting My Job To Follow a Dream”

Quitting My Job To Follow a Dream

Thanks for reading, Christine x