You can’t always get what you want
But you can try sometimes
There’s no narrative, no thread, no edge, no limit. Life doesn’t follow any curved or straight lines. There is no path. Whatever story we invent for ourselves only obscures a hard simple truth. There is no past and there is no future. We bound ourselves to silly notions of permanence and predictability. A feeling of a constant being with a constant name and a constant ID number. When our true nature is really ever-changing, unsettling, unbounded.
It is ok to create a narrative to follow and to bring meaning into our senseless lives. As long as it is a shackle we can remove from our weary wrists. As long as we can break free from it. There are no logical steps and impositions. No heroes or journeys. You can choose another part, another play. You are your own writer and actor. You have poetic license to steer and direct your own film as you see fit. You can kill off characters as most pessimistic authors do and give birth to new ones as the need arises.
You’ve walked far in life. I don’t know how much. I won’t pretend to have the secret to better living or better choices. And I would advise you to stop looking for answers in the stars or from those that have it all figured out. Look for questions instead. Answers are finite. The end to all the endless possibilities. It doesn’t matter who or what is responsible for our existence. Humans are latent beings. We are born as primates as much as the next monkey. And, if not given the chance to develop language and thought, we are helpless. Next to nothing, really.
We. The ones who broke free from the shackles of time. We know of past generations, and can imagine what is to come. But, with that very same ability we seem to have lost track of what happens now. And, got stuck with history. The very same that permeate every movie, book or tale. There is no arc to be followed, and our characters don’t have a hidden purpose or internal logic. No. If our life resembles a stage at all, it is when the curtain is down and the audience is waiting. Living is waiting. Gasping for meaning. That’s why we become doctors and lawyers and engineers. We want to pave our way and leave something behind.
Sometimes, though, those plans fail. More often than not, actually. Some people, plan decades ahead, others can’t even plan the next meal! But idea is not reality. No wonder there is such a rift between theory and practice. We can never seem to find the right way to put perfect utopias in place. Or in time. And time and time again we see failures throughout history. We all plan to be big. Great writers, scientists, politicians. Innovators, creators, executors. Always dreaming to be more productive, talented, opulent. But you can’t practice on how to live. You can and always will err. That is certain. A loved one that is gone, a wrong turn here and there. Mistakes are countless. But who is counting?