Drop the Rock

I recently read through ‘Drop the Rock’, a book focused on removing character defects using steps six and seven of the 12-step program. Though I have not personally gone through the 12-steps, we all have character defects worth looking at, and I was interested in the perspective offered.

The title comes from this analogy:

Imagine that you’re on a boat with your friends, and somehow you take a misstep and fall overboard. You try to get back on, but you can’t quite make it to the surface. You sink, no matter how hard you fight. As you struggle, you look down at yourself and realize that around your neck is a chain with a giant rock, a burden much too heavy to swim with. Your friends yell “Drop the rock!”, but you don’t.

That rock is your defects. Your fear, your anger, your resentment. You have to drop it if you want to truly live.

Throughout the book the author shares his personal experiences as well as the experiences of many others, and one of my favorite stories comes from a professor who gained personal insight through a student project she assigned. She asked her class to capture ‘poetry in action’, and a particular group decided to interpret the action in a very meaningful way. As she tells it:

They led me in to my desk where a vase was sitting with a string attached, and floating above the vase was a big yellow balloon. It was a very nice looking arrangement, with a juxtaposition of balloon for flower in the composition. They had written a poem on the balloon. Both of the students were brimming with fun and confidence. Then they told me to pop the balloon.

I couldn’t. I hate to pop balloons! I hate the noise. It really bothers me to see a balloon pop. It scares me. Usually I let out a little screech when it happens. They handed me a hat pin and said, “Pop it.” They weren’t going to take no for an answer. Finally, I took the pin, put one hand over my ear, and closed my eyes. I lunged forward with the pin and heard the balloon pop. I didn’t screech.

I opened my eyes and saw an amazing sight. Concealed inside the now disintegrated balloon was a flower. I had no idea how they got it inside the balloon. I felt my eyes fill with tears of joy.

At last I understood the Seventh Step. I am just like that balloon. I am so full of hot air that I am afraid to let God pop the balloon and let the flower out. My pride and fear keep me from discovering my own flower and the flowers of others. That night I shared my story with a roomful of grateful drunks and saw lots of flowers in the room. It was like being in God’s garden. I, too, am part of that garden.

Step seven comes after we recognize our shortcomings, and requires us to realize we can’t fix them on our own. It requires humility, and it’s harder than it sounds — but it’s so very worth it.