EN PASSANT

If you are upset that school may be indoctrinating your child in beliefs that are contrary to your values, your problem is not with the school but rather with your own crappy parenting skills.

I’m thinking we might be able to dismantle rightwing opposition to a woman’s reproductive rights by offering a tax credit to those willing to keep this opinion to themselves.

Of course, I do not mind when the person doing the bagging in the supermarket asks if I want my groceries taken to my car. It’s the expression of complete surprise when I’ve said, no thanks, that stays with me

Whenever there is a new Vet at the Animal Hospital, Rosie and Ellie are reassigned to that new person. Is it because they are so robust? No, it’s because I am on their least likely to complain list. Do they think I don’t know that?

Drop Ted Cruz blindfolded and handcuffed into any sewer, and he will find his way to headline.

Why does Donald Trump always seem so cavalier and unconcerned by the likelihood of criminal prosecution?

He knows he can’t be tried as an adult.

We must end our dependency on Fossil Fools.

Accidently swallowed a whole bottle of Prevagen. Remembered 47 previous incarnations

Better a comedian than a clown.

I managed 1 minute and 33 seconds of FOX news today. If Joe Biden were as stupid as they say he is, how is it he was able to steal an entire election from master thieves?

Due to the inclement weather, I have checked on your elderly neighbor. I’m fine, thank you.

Here’s what confuses me about capitalism: if every person is a medical expert, why is health care so expensive?

A major part of complaints about Joe Biden from Trump acolytes, derives from the fact that they are unfamiliar with what an actual President actually does.

Mitchell. DeSantis, Greene, Gosar, Jordan and Graham are very OK with being judged by the color of their skin.

They sure as hell don’t want to be judged by the content of their character.

I have learned this from Facebook. If the ventriloquist is an idiot, there’s no point in dealing with the dummy.

The most important question I ask myself every day is:

How long has that been in the fridge?

This obsession with plans ignores how few of them succeed.

Every old man who lives alone needs to find words that comfort him. Mine are: ‘Cooks Right in the Bag’.

The person who said, there is a spark of divinity in everyone, obviously did not know everyone.

When considering how difficult issues in society might be resolved and your answer boils down to, ‘people should be more like I am’, you have not actually provided the solution. You have, however, come face to face with the problem.

I read every day that the 2nd Amendment is under attack. The last time legislation was introduced in Congress to repeal the 2nd Amendment was in 1993.

In 2008, the Supreme Court held

1. The Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home. Pp. 2–53.

2nd Amendment rights are expanding. Weird, the 2nd Amendment is under attack but the Capitol wasn’t?

Polite does not require acquiescing to stupidity.

Am I asking too much? At a bottom of page, a with text, when applicable, write: The Following Page is left Blank Intentionally.

If the secret to political and social bliss is the creative competition of capitalists operating in a free market, then why wasn’t the Gilded Age (mid 1870a to about 1900) utopia?

Facts may be stubborn things but they’re not as stubborn as the nincompoops who mistakenly believe they know any.

It appears as if there is a confusion between critical thinking and thinking that is in critical condition.

The older I get the more frequently I receive unsolicited offers, couched in sublime politesse, from Funeral Homes. Mortuaries and some folks with a pickup truck who advertise that they will pick up anything. The typeface on the address grows monthly. I am now at 24 pt. Bodoni Bold.

I just want to make one thing clear about a common theme in these invitations to the afterlife. I am not worried because I have always been a burden to my loved ones, so there is nothing to spare them from.

Of course, Mitch McConnell is tone deaf to issues about slavery and its transmutations. Being owned doesn’t bother him.

Which of the states, governed by Republicans, has a ‘small government?’

Why is it that the fiercest proponents of individual liberty have the most to say about how other people should live?

If there are so many things that are worth thousands of dollars available for $19 on Facebook, how come things that originally cost $19 aren’t free.

39 percent of white adults report living in a home with a firearm. For black adults, that number is 18%. The likelihood of government implementing actual gun control measures will vary as a function of changes to that 18% figure.

No one dies of ‘an apparent heart attack’. One dies, apparently as the result of a heart attack.

Of course, I pay more taxes than Jeff Bezos. He makes more money than I do. Isn’t that how Socialism works?

Footnote: there are a lot more Capitalists who are broke than Socialists who are rich.

In case you forgot you are old, spending 45 minutes trying to find and figure out an emoji, serves as a keen reminder.

Before you campaign to put Jesus back into schools, campaign to put him back in your Church

You know you have completely regressed from husband to pathetic old age bachelorhood when you open the meds drawer and find the missing garlic salt.

Why would a baby-eating cabal be pro-choice?

Ok, you say something. People are confused, bewildered or asking for an explanation as to how that statement relates to information that appears to be contrary or contrary to a previous statement. In response, you get 6 or 8 people who either work for you or are beholden to you question the motivation behind the question, trot out an unrelated action that is supposed to inoculate you against all criticism, belittle anyone not on the party line, play victim, cry hoax, and never actually deal in a straight forward way with that request for clarification.

Is that how honesty usually works?

Let me assure you if there were indeed an international conspiracy of behind-the-scenes Jewish bankers, power brokers and media moguls to take over the world, it would have long since succeeded. Shalom.

Just curious — — how is that the same folks who explained to us that Barack Obama is a lying, evil, not-very-bright stooge is suddenly the essence of validity if a criticism of Biden is attributed to him.

How many times a day do you think Meghan Markle talks to Yoko Ono on the phone?

Given the mood of the times, I have found the following to be useful: ‘Did you know that Anti-Semitism is recognized as the most virulent form of Penis Envy?’

Ever notice that there is more actual Love-of-Jesus Christianity in that neighborhood ‘Black Church’ than in the entirety of a Multi-Media, State-of-the-Art, Celebrity-Pastor, White Evangelical Mega-Church?

Masks are great but the profiling is rugged. Every time I go out, people see an old Jewish guy wearing a surgical mask and I am forced into delivering a baby.

If the Smithsonian is the nation’s attic, then Facebook is its refrigerator door.

If Trump is impeached, will Putin have to step down?

Here’s an irony: The folks complaining about a ‘Witch Hunt’ are rather similar to those who actually did hunt witches.

Journalism is the first draft of history. Facebook is the draft before that.

I am as ecumenical as the next person, but you do have to admit the really cool names for cats are in the Old Testament.

This is America!
You don’t refuse to make the cake.
You jack up the price.

How is it even possible for thoughts and prayers to be expressed by mindless heathens?