Morbidity in the Mundane
… and sometimes the line doesn’t exist at all
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A sinister old man controlling an eerie rag doll scared the protagonist into giving away her ring. The protagonist’s guardian of sorts, Selvi akka, is hysterical with fear for the child’s life that now supposedly belongs to the whims of the Kudukuduppukkaran. While the protagonist’s grandparents refuse to believe in this superstition, Selvi akka is steadfast in her belief. Will she save the child or is it all imagination?
As the days passed, I forgot this unnerving incident and went about my happy life. But, Selvi akka progressively grew quieter and paler. The last days of my summer holidays came to an end. A few minutes before I boarded the train back home, Selvi akka hurried to my side and pushed the ring that I had foolishly given away, into my hands. I thanked her in delight and she smiled back at me wanly. “Always wear the ring, okay thangam?” she said. She kissed my forehead and lifted me onto the train steps.
With the horn blaring, the train started. I waved to her as she stood forlorn with the pleats of her orange sari fluttering in the wind. That was the last time I would see my beautiful Selvi akka.
The year after that, I visited my grandparents’ house, brimming with exciting stories I wanted to share with my best friend. But, she was not there. I asked my grandparents where she was. “Selvi? Ah, Selvi, she is no longer with us,” my grandfather said.
I inhaled sharply, afraid of the next few words. Grandma hit his forearm forcefully. “What he wants to say is that Selvi akka had to move back to her village since her son wanted her help, right honey?” she said pursing her lips at grandfather. “Ah, that is exactly what I wanted to say,” he amended. Though I was disappointed that I won’t be seeing her, I cheered up when my grandma introduced me to new neighbours.
Days passed. I grew taller. Took exams. Got a little sister. And Selvi akka became a memory buried deep in the halcyon days of my early childhood. But, true to my word, I never removed the ring.
Many years later, I visited my grandma during the summer break from our university. With my grandfather leaving for his next great adventure, grandma was very lonely. After tea, I was washing up while chatting with her, when I chanced upon a tumbler that was inscribed with ‘M.Selvi’. I smiled at that. “Tell me, grandma. How is Selvi akka? Is she with her own brood of grandchildren to dote on?” I asked.
“Selvi? Which Selvi are you talking about?” grandma asked, frown lines deepening on her face as she tried to remember. “The Selvi who used to help us when I was a kid,” I prompted. The lines cleared and she suddenly looked stricken.
“Oh, thangam. We didn’t want to tell you this earlier since you were so young. But, Selvi, She died a long time ago. You remember the time you visited when you were seven? She died about a month after you left,”
she said mournfully.
An orange sari flapping in the wind. A sad smile. Dark, odious eyes. A gruesome sewed-up mouth.
She continued “The doctors could not find out what exactly she was suffering from. She suddenly fainted one day and was bedridden since then. I went to visit her before she died, you know. She was very feverish, hallucinatory and kept muttering about how she bought just 15 years of life for you and other nonsense. Thangam, are you okay?”
I clutched the counter feeling sick. The green on my ring finger seemed to dull as if my life was slowly fading.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m alright,” I said.
It was a blustery evening as the day gave way to the night. Two young women were ambling down the dew-drenched street, content to enjoy the cool air before they slipped indoors. One hummed along to the gay chatter of her friend. A ring set with a lusterless, green stone sat on her finger.
“… And then, he absolutely refused to sign my form. Can you believe that? Even though I had informed him previously of my commitments, he … wait, can you hear that? ”
They stopped. Through the breeze, they could hear,
Tak-tak-thap. Ting. Ting.
“Are those bells? Why is someone walking around with bells at this time in the night? Girl, What happened?!! Are you feeling okay? You look cadaverous all of a sudden.”
“It’s him.”
“Why are you whispering? Who is ‘him’? … Hullo, someone seems to be coming this way.”
“It’s him. IT’S HIM! The Kudukuduppukaran! He is HERE!”
“What?”
Tak-tak-thap. Ting. Ting.
Tamil words used:
Thangam — A term of endearment that roughly translates to ‘Precious’
Damarutham — a small, handheld drum made of wood and animal skin.
Akka — an affectionate term for ‘elder sister’
